The Secret Hidden in Porcelain

"Tell me what you want to hear
Something that'll light those years
Sick of all of the insincere
I'm gonna give all my secrets away"

Secrets by OneRepublic
© Universal Music Publishing Group, Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC

Not sure why, but this song has become one of my favorites in recent weeks. I find myself humming it in my head many times throughout the day. Maybe because it reminds me of the background music that plays toward the end of one of my favorite Christian programs. Or maybe, because the idea of revealing all my secrets sounds very freeing, especially for someone as fiercely private as I am.

Then again, it could simply boil down to me feeling very weary of having spent years creating the persona of a woman able to hold it together and keep things perfectly under control—not terribly fazed, never deeply hurt, and never really disappointed—no matter what breaks in my life. It's the reason I'm so private, so guarded, for fear that someone might uncover the truth. Much like a porcelain dish, from a distance everything looks perfect and polished, pristinely beautiful. Examine it too closely and you might just see the cracks and imperfections that often result when clay is exposed to extreme heat.

Now, I must ask myself: "Is the dish truly of any less value?" "Am I?"