"Whatever you want in your experience, hold it first of all, accept it first of all in your consciousness." Rev. Ike
I enjoyed a fun and refreshing three-mile walk again today. It’s surprising, although it shouldn’t be, how much my body has transformed over the past four months, and with ease and flow. It’s still a work in progress, but I’m liking, loving, the way it looks and feels.
“I easily and effortlessly maintain a healthy, fit and toned 137-pound body” has been my mantra, affirmation, assertion, belief since May following a disappointing weigh-in at my doctor’s office where after all of my effort to reduce my weight, I learned I had gained four pounds. About two years ago, I picked up 20 extra pounds that my body seemed determined to stubbornly hang onto despite my best efforts to release the extra. At least two doctors and some well-meaning friends had suggested that because I was nearing an age where women typically begin experiencing menopause, weight gain was to be expected as the body's hormonal levels shift.
That's one point of view. I didn't like it, so I made a conscious choice to reject it as I know a number of pre- and post-menopausal women for whom this so-called fact of aging doesn't hold true. Just as it doesn't hold true that all people once they reach a certain age will begin to experience memory loss or joint problems. (I know an 85-year old woman who can still do a full split. I couldn't do one when I was 16.)
When it was also suggested that I consider enrolling in a more stringent, and expensive, diet program, something clicked inside of me. “I am more powerful than that,” I’m sure of it. I realized in that moment, my body wasn't the issue; my mind was.
I declined the program and armed with the knowledge I had already acquired of how the body works as well as how the mind works, I set my aim and focused. I began journaling and affirming daily “I easily and effortlessly maintain a healthy, fit, and toned 137-pound body.” I began imagining myself wearing my favorite clothes again. I began seeing and feeling myself at my ideal body weight. I accepted it as a done deal.
I continued my daily walks, increasing the number of miles. I started a light combination yoga/ballet regime and tweaked my eating habits by learning to listen to my body to better distinguish between true hunger and emotional hunger—I’m bored, I’m sad, I’m upset, etc. Most days, I eat when I’m hungry and when I'm not hungry, I don’t eat. I also made a choice to not stress out over every morsel of food I put in my mouth as to its being good or bad for me. I haven't perfected this as there have been days or moments when I've stressed out a little, nobody’s perfect. More often than not, I feel at peace with whatever I am choosing to eat, and I enjoy it fully.
None of this was hard. In fact, it felt easy. It felt fun. It felt like a game at times. I even started secretly competing with my brother, who also likes to walk, to see if I could keep pace with his total steps/mileage per day.
A few days ago, I wore a pair of my favorite jeans that I hadn’t been able to fit into for months. I’m now logging an average of 3 to 5 miles or more on my daily walks, which I enjoy immensely because I find they also help to clear negative mind chatter. I added breath work into the mix. It helps with my singing and I'm finding it allows me achieve a deeper meditative state during my mini-meditations.
During the past month, I picked up an additional habit that I’ve found helpful: mirror work. It’s something I learned from author Louise Hay, the founder of Hay House publications which along with Oprah helped make Wayne Dyer famous. I’m inspired by her story of how she healed herself of a serious illness and later created Hay House in her 60s.
Anytime I pass by or look at myself in a mirror these days, I make it a point to say something loving to myself. “Hello, beautiful.” “Looking good!” “Hey, sexy!”
Narcissistic? Nah. Loving? Absolutely!
I firmly believe that I can only experience in my external world, what I’m willing to allow myself to experience in my internal world. I’ve spent years allowing myself to experience much crap internally. I’ve judged myself, and quite harshly, for not being smarter, or taller, or shorter, or thinner, or bigger, or for working too hard, or not working hard enough, for being too trusting or not trusting enough, too nice, not nice enough, the list goes on and on and on. I'd become quite skilled at beating myself up for the slightest failure, mistake or perceived shortcoming.
Honestly, if a friend said the things about me that I’ve sometimes said to and about myself, we would not be friends. It's also been my experience that shaming and harsh criticism is the least effective way to inspire long-term change in anyone. So, I've decided to be kinder and gentler to myself. Charity should always begin at home.
And, it’s paying off. I feel healthier. I feel stronger. Most of all, I feel empowered. If I can transform this one aspect of my life by simply changing my mindset—changing how I see myself—what else can I accomplish?
