I awoke this morning with a curious thought that perhaps it’s time, well past time, that I stop trying to “fix” me. Funnily, I am finding that so much of self-help work is not all that helpful. Particularly unhelpful to me are the programs or systems that have you continually and continually peeling back layers and layers and layers and more layers of "hidden issues" or "blocks to your good"—trauma, pain, suffering, hurts from childhood, early adulthood or even past lives; negative beliefs; limiting beliefs; agendas, and on and on—before you can even begin to hope to reach the point of actually focusing on living the life you desire and dream about. I mean, the more I peel away the layers, the more I find that needs healing or clearing or purging. Aargh!!! Enough already!
I have decided to take to heart the Apostle Paul’s suggestion and forget all that and simply accept my new creationhood. Forget all the stuff that is behind me and focus on what’s ahead—that which I desire and am choosing to experience in this present moment of now.
Olympic athletes provide the perfect example of this, most specifically those who run track or swim.. After all, has there ever at any time in the history of the Olympics been a gold medal swimmer or runner who’s won a race looking backwards? And I don't just mean looking behind to see how far in front of the other runners or swimmers or what distance they've already run or swam, but looking back to previous losses or even wins.Typically, when interviewed these athletes will share how no matter what they kept their focus fixed on that race and the finish line ahead of them. Why is it then, I suppose, that we expect to be successful in any area of life looking at, in sometimes great detail, what is behind us rather than ahead?
I had to ask myself this morning: Is digging up every past trauma, failure, shortcoming and the associated emotions really healing? And is sharing every trauma, failure, shortcoming, fear, or anxiety from my past with anyone and everyone who will listen beneficial to them? Is this how truly successful people succeed? Or, could it be that the truly successful are those who do as Paul suggests, shake off the past like it never happened and set their eyes like a flint on their goal?
Will former pains, hurts, traumas, failures, childhood programming, etc., still come up for me from time to time? Perhaps, yes. But I have already prepared the appropriate response: That was then; this is now.
"Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead," Phil 3:13 (New Living Translation)
"Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new." 2 Cor. 5:17
Showing posts with label encouragement. Show all posts
Showing posts with label encouragement. Show all posts
Monday, February 12, 2018
Wednesday, January 3, 2018
Pay Attention
"You cannot serve two masters. In any moment you are either moving TOWARDS or AWAY from the things you desire based on what you focus your attention on most of the time." – Dr. Robert Anthony
Some years ago I contemplated writing a blog, Musings of a Scattered Mind. At the time I felt and often still feel as if my mind is scattered about in a thousand different places at once—bouncing around from one thought or idea to the next one to the next one and back again. When I was very young, my parents and older siblings were constantly chiding me "Donna, be still, pay attention!"
As I grew older, I assumed it was just my nature to be unfocused, easily distracted and scattered in thought. Concentrating on a single thing at a time seemed hard work for me, if not impossible.That's the story I told myself. I'm realizing now it doesn't have to be my truth and, in fact, wasn't ever really.
Having invested several years now in studying the teachings of metaphysical and spiritual teachers like Neville Goddard and Joseph Murphy and having gained a better understanding of the importance of developing focus, particularly on your aims, it's clear to me why I’ve often felt throughout much of my life that I’ve been bouncing all over the place. I have been—my life, my actions, my behavior have been following the bouncing balls that are my scattered thoughts, the ones I manage to hold fast to, and so many of them contradictory.
It's rather like dancing. In whatever direction I focus my attention (not my eyes, there's a subtlety of dance that requires you focus your attention independent of your physical vision), that’s the direction in which my body moves. If for even one half-second I lose focus on where it is I’m going or desiring to go, I will begin almost immediately moving in another direction entirely causing me to misstep or lose my footing completely and step or fall into my dance partner. Not fun for either one of us (not usually, LOL!).
To be fair to myself, my thoughts aren’t always scattered. There have been, and are, times when I’m able to maintain laser-like focus on a single thing—project, idea, aim—for an extended period without being diverted. There have been moments when I've set out to accomplish something and I'm like a pit bull with a bone. What I’ve noticed is that it is usually those times when I am my most successful and able to achieve precisely what I’ve set out to.
Just this past summer, I lost 20 lbs in just over two months because I was doggedly determined to do so. No matter what the scale read or what I perceived I saw in the mirror, I refused to entertain any thoughts other than "I easily and effortlessly maintain my ideal body weight."
Also to be fair to myself, I know that I’m not alone in entertaining a myriad of scattered thoughts. These days, the ability to multi-task is a highly praised skill. It shouldn’t be.
I used to brag about my multi-tasking prowess as it seemed I was able to accomplish quite a lot of different things at once. The belief being that I was getting more done in less time. However, the question remains: “how well was I, are you, accomplishing these tasks?” Is the end result of the same quality as it might be if we simply focused completing one thing before moving on to the next?
And what of scattered thoughts? Why does it make sense to us that we can scatter our thoughts and energy across even opposing ends and still achieve our desires?
I want to be slim and healthy, yet my mind bounces from being healthy and slim to being out-of-shape and unhealthy. (Exactly what I was doing before I decided to focus solely on slim and healthy, and then lost 20 lbs). I want to live an abundant, opulent life, yet my thoughts bounce from being abundant to "I can't afford" and “why is everything so expensive” and back again.
Other writers on the subject of mind and thoughts have suggested that we have somewhere between 30,000 to 60,000 thoughts a day, most of them random, covering not just recent events, fears, anxieties, joys, or pleasures, but events and non-events throughout the entirety of our lives. Ever have a moment when out of the nowhere you had thought of a song you hadn’t heard since you were five? Ever ask yourself "why"?
While I certainly don’t expect, nor would I attempt, to control 30,000-plus thoughts passing through my mind, I can absolutely choose the ones on which to fix my attention. I can certainly choose to maintain laser-like focus on what I am wanting and disregard anything that doesn't align with that.
Scattered thoughts and attention equal a scattered life, which is why I’m willing to accept as my truth Dr. Robert’s quote about serving to masters that I included at the beginning of this post. Jesus said it this way:
“No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other.”
Which ever thoughts you choose to give your constant attention are the ones that you love and the ones that you will serve. Choose wisely.
As for me, I’m reigning in my scattered mind and expecting my external world to follow suit as I give primary attention to my dreams and aims.
Some years ago I contemplated writing a blog, Musings of a Scattered Mind. At the time I felt and often still feel as if my mind is scattered about in a thousand different places at once—bouncing around from one thought or idea to the next one to the next one and back again. When I was very young, my parents and older siblings were constantly chiding me "Donna, be still, pay attention!"
As I grew older, I assumed it was just my nature to be unfocused, easily distracted and scattered in thought. Concentrating on a single thing at a time seemed hard work for me, if not impossible.That's the story I told myself. I'm realizing now it doesn't have to be my truth and, in fact, wasn't ever really.
Having invested several years now in studying the teachings of metaphysical and spiritual teachers like Neville Goddard and Joseph Murphy and having gained a better understanding of the importance of developing focus, particularly on your aims, it's clear to me why I’ve often felt throughout much of my life that I’ve been bouncing all over the place. I have been—my life, my actions, my behavior have been following the bouncing balls that are my scattered thoughts, the ones I manage to hold fast to, and so many of them contradictory.
It's rather like dancing. In whatever direction I focus my attention (not my eyes, there's a subtlety of dance that requires you focus your attention independent of your physical vision), that’s the direction in which my body moves. If for even one half-second I lose focus on where it is I’m going or desiring to go, I will begin almost immediately moving in another direction entirely causing me to misstep or lose my footing completely and step or fall into my dance partner. Not fun for either one of us (not usually, LOL!).
To be fair to myself, my thoughts aren’t always scattered. There have been, and are, times when I’m able to maintain laser-like focus on a single thing—project, idea, aim—for an extended period without being diverted. There have been moments when I've set out to accomplish something and I'm like a pit bull with a bone. What I’ve noticed is that it is usually those times when I am my most successful and able to achieve precisely what I’ve set out to.
Just this past summer, I lost 20 lbs in just over two months because I was doggedly determined to do so. No matter what the scale read or what I perceived I saw in the mirror, I refused to entertain any thoughts other than "I easily and effortlessly maintain my ideal body weight."
Also to be fair to myself, I know that I’m not alone in entertaining a myriad of scattered thoughts. These days, the ability to multi-task is a highly praised skill. It shouldn’t be.
I used to brag about my multi-tasking prowess as it seemed I was able to accomplish quite a lot of different things at once. The belief being that I was getting more done in less time. However, the question remains: “how well was I, are you, accomplishing these tasks?” Is the end result of the same quality as it might be if we simply focused completing one thing before moving on to the next?
And what of scattered thoughts? Why does it make sense to us that we can scatter our thoughts and energy across even opposing ends and still achieve our desires?
I want to be slim and healthy, yet my mind bounces from being healthy and slim to being out-of-shape and unhealthy. (Exactly what I was doing before I decided to focus solely on slim and healthy, and then lost 20 lbs). I want to live an abundant, opulent life, yet my thoughts bounce from being abundant to "I can't afford" and “why is everything so expensive” and back again.
Other writers on the subject of mind and thoughts have suggested that we have somewhere between 30,000 to 60,000 thoughts a day, most of them random, covering not just recent events, fears, anxieties, joys, or pleasures, but events and non-events throughout the entirety of our lives. Ever have a moment when out of the nowhere you had thought of a song you hadn’t heard since you were five? Ever ask yourself "why"?
While I certainly don’t expect, nor would I attempt, to control 30,000-plus thoughts passing through my mind, I can absolutely choose the ones on which to fix my attention. I can certainly choose to maintain laser-like focus on what I am wanting and disregard anything that doesn't align with that.
Scattered thoughts and attention equal a scattered life, which is why I’m willing to accept as my truth Dr. Robert’s quote about serving to masters that I included at the beginning of this post. Jesus said it this way:
“No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other.”
Which ever thoughts you choose to give your constant attention are the ones that you love and the ones that you will serve. Choose wisely.
As for me, I’m reigning in my scattered mind and expecting my external world to follow suit as I give primary attention to my dreams and aims.
Sunday, December 31, 2017
Saying Good-Bye to 2017!
"If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours."
– Henry David Thoreau
Putting the past twelve months behind me with all its setbacks, disappointments and even its successes, I press forward toward the mark of a higher calling in life, more determined than ever to live the life of my dreams and beyond what I can even now imagine.
As I sit here typing and enjoying my peppermint mocha coffee, I am doggedly determined to end the year on an up note having this morning set my day’s intentions. Choosing to disregard appearances, my own fears and anxieties, I am remaining steadfast in faith/knowing that my intentions—today's and future ones—will all be realized in a perfect and wonderful way. “My Father has ways and means ye know not of” to bring my desires to pass.
Looking forward to an amazing, healthy, prosperous, fun-filled 2018!!
I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. – Philippians 3:13-14 (NKJV)
This is what the Lord says—he who made a way through the sea, a path through the mighty waters, “Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.– Isaiah 43:16, 18-19 (NIV)
Friday, December 29, 2017
The Power of Intentions
Intentions are powerful. I realized earlier this week that I’ve been very lax in setting intentions for my day. As a result, I’ve felt like I’m on a ship drifting directionless in the ocean. I'm doing a bunch of stuff, yet I don’t seem to be getting anywhere. So, I’ve recommitted myself to get back into creating my day daily and recording my successes to build faith and trust in the power residing in this earthen vessel.
Today was a prime example. About a week ago I had thought it might be nice to again visit my dad’s grave site at Quantico on today—it was a year ago today that he died—however, I wasn’t sure whether I was up to it or how I might get there. To be honest, I’ve been a bit emotional in the days leading up to Christmas and today even, remembering and still not fully able to make sense of what happened a year ago.
When my younger sister mentioned over the weekend that she was thinking of going and that my older sister wanted to as well, I decided to make my "it might be nice to..." a "yes, I want to do this." I then thought it would be nice to make it a family outing of sorts, including my brother, so mentioned it to him and my sister-in-law, hoping we could make it work. Weather was a factor as snow was predicted. Another seeming challenge was how to make the hour drive easy for my older sister, yet I held fast to my intent/desire to go.
The transportation issue was solved when I realized that my older sister’s van was plenty big enough for all of us to ride in comfort, and I could drive. As for the weather, I received a message last night from my younger sister that the snow had kindly decided to wait until after midnight tonight, if it appears at all.
I awoke this morning not feeling my best and for a brief moment thought I might not be able to make the trip. But remembering I had set my intention, I remained confident it would work out. I had a chat with my body wherein I expressed how I wanted it to feel, and then went back to bed for another hour. I awoke feeling fine, just as my sister had arrived. I showered and dressed. Happily when I asked my brother about going, he said “yes.” So, off we went to Quantico with me driving my sister’s van.
It was the perfect moment: the four of us standing at our dad’s grave site, which had already been decorated with a fresh pine Christmas wreath. It was a beautiful and sobering site. My sister laid the silk flowers I’d provided and an American flag on the headstone. She and my brother took pictures while each of us took notice of the other soldiers' headstones all adorned with wreaths, and some with flags, flowers and other items of affection left by their loved ones. And each of us in our own way reminisced about our dad and the day, a year ago, we said goodbye to him.
The drive down and back gave us the opportunity to bond—we laughed and talked about our dad, our mom and an assortment of other things as well as expressed our frustration, anger, and confusion in dealing with some of the hospital and rehab staff and paid caregivers who provided care to our dad during the last six months of his life. It was very healing for me and for the first time I feel ready to move beyond it and get back to living the amazing life I know my dad would want for me.
I have every intention of doing just that as I believe that I deserve an amazing happy life. It is the birthright of every person born into this earth.
“Is anything too hard for God?” has become my daily meditation as there are some situations in my life that feel challenging, yet I, the real I, knows that there is nothing too hard or too wonderful for God to accomplish. In those moments when I feel myself letting go of my intention for an amazing, rich and wonderful life, I remind myself that the same God, Infinite Spirit who created the universe and all that is in it and has for millennia after millennia kept the planets, sun and stars in perfect alignment as they circle around in space is surely more than capable of managing my itty bitty situations (no matter how monumental they might appear to me). To believe otherwise is insulting and rather ridiculous if you seriously think about it.
I may never know why my dad’s life ended when it did—years before he had expressed that he’d wanted it to—yet I believe the possibility for him to have lived as long as he desired and the possibility for him to have been healed of dementia existed and still exists. As my father often sang, “Jesus [the Christ in us] never fails.”
Intentions are powerful when you are willing to believe that anything is possible and, like the woman who approached Jesus for healing for her daughter, refuse to take “no” for an answer.
Truly I tell you, if anyone says to this mountain, ‘Go, throw yourself into the sea,’ and does not doubt in their heart but believes that what they say will happen, it will be done for them. Mark 11:23
Today was a prime example. About a week ago I had thought it might be nice to again visit my dad’s grave site at Quantico on today—it was a year ago today that he died—however, I wasn’t sure whether I was up to it or how I might get there. To be honest, I’ve been a bit emotional in the days leading up to Christmas and today even, remembering and still not fully able to make sense of what happened a year ago.
When my younger sister mentioned over the weekend that she was thinking of going and that my older sister wanted to as well, I decided to make my "it might be nice to..." a "yes, I want to do this." I then thought it would be nice to make it a family outing of sorts, including my brother, so mentioned it to him and my sister-in-law, hoping we could make it work. Weather was a factor as snow was predicted. Another seeming challenge was how to make the hour drive easy for my older sister, yet I held fast to my intent/desire to go.
The transportation issue was solved when I realized that my older sister’s van was plenty big enough for all of us to ride in comfort, and I could drive. As for the weather, I received a message last night from my younger sister that the snow had kindly decided to wait until after midnight tonight, if it appears at all.
I awoke this morning not feeling my best and for a brief moment thought I might not be able to make the trip. But remembering I had set my intention, I remained confident it would work out. I had a chat with my body wherein I expressed how I wanted it to feel, and then went back to bed for another hour. I awoke feeling fine, just as my sister had arrived. I showered and dressed. Happily when I asked my brother about going, he said “yes.” So, off we went to Quantico with me driving my sister’s van.
It was the perfect moment: the four of us standing at our dad’s grave site, which had already been decorated with a fresh pine Christmas wreath. It was a beautiful and sobering site. My sister laid the silk flowers I’d provided and an American flag on the headstone. She and my brother took pictures while each of us took notice of the other soldiers' headstones all adorned with wreaths, and some with flags, flowers and other items of affection left by their loved ones. And each of us in our own way reminisced about our dad and the day, a year ago, we said goodbye to him.
The drive down and back gave us the opportunity to bond—we laughed and talked about our dad, our mom and an assortment of other things as well as expressed our frustration, anger, and confusion in dealing with some of the hospital and rehab staff and paid caregivers who provided care to our dad during the last six months of his life. It was very healing for me and for the first time I feel ready to move beyond it and get back to living the amazing life I know my dad would want for me.
I have every intention of doing just that as I believe that I deserve an amazing happy life. It is the birthright of every person born into this earth.
“Is anything too hard for God?” has become my daily meditation as there are some situations in my life that feel challenging, yet I, the real I, knows that there is nothing too hard or too wonderful for God to accomplish. In those moments when I feel myself letting go of my intention for an amazing, rich and wonderful life, I remind myself that the same God, Infinite Spirit who created the universe and all that is in it and has for millennia after millennia kept the planets, sun and stars in perfect alignment as they circle around in space is surely more than capable of managing my itty bitty situations (no matter how monumental they might appear to me). To believe otherwise is insulting and rather ridiculous if you seriously think about it.
I may never know why my dad’s life ended when it did—years before he had expressed that he’d wanted it to—yet I believe the possibility for him to have lived as long as he desired and the possibility for him to have been healed of dementia existed and still exists. As my father often sang, “Jesus [the Christ in us] never fails.”
Intentions are powerful when you are willing to believe that anything is possible and, like the woman who approached Jesus for healing for her daughter, refuse to take “no” for an answer.
Truly I tell you, if anyone says to this mountain, ‘Go, throw yourself into the sea,’ and does not doubt in their heart but believes that what they say will happen, it will be done for them. Mark 11:23
Monday, December 11, 2017
The Price of Fitting In
This morning, I attended a wake/viewing for a long-time friend, someone I had known since I was a very young girl who passed away quite suddenly late last month. Surrounded by other friends from my childhood, I became acutely aware of how out of place I often feel around them and the struggle within myself to make myself fit into a world that I don’t really want to fit into.
There isn’t anything wrong at all with the reality in which my friends live. It works for them. It’s what they know and have come to accept is a “normal” way of life. You put in your 40 hours a week, enduring all manner of situations that annoy you, so you can earn money to buy a car, house, clothes, food, etc. That's how life works, right?
As a treat for your hard work and sacrifice, you spend your down time doing things that feel more fun: watching the latest crop of television programming intended to either entertain or infuriate you, going to the movies, maybe, taking a cruise some place when you have vacation time, provided you have enough money, attending church, or checking out a new or familiar restaurant. If you're married or have a family, you might do something with your partner and kids, or not. You stress about bills, the mortgage, car notes, your spouse and/or kids, and you get together to commiserate about your stupid bosses and co-workers, how your partner or kids are making you nuts, or how challenged you are trying to manage all the cadre of ailments you been diagnosed with.
If it seems I’m being judgmental, I’m not. My friends and family are content with their lifestyles—they’ve chosen it, consciously or unconsciously. Doesn’t matter, they seem content to do what they do.
As for me, I’ve always wanted more, or rather, something vastly different, as “more” implies judgment. Ever since I was a teenager, tween even, I've desired and still desire a different way of being, doing, and living my life. I could see it. I could feel it. It moved me to action on the one hand and terrified me on the other. Try as I might, I haven’t been able to let it go. In my imagination, my daydreams, I saw a preview of what my life could be and I cannot let it go.
As I’m pondering all of this, it hit me—the guilt I’ve been carrying with me since my tween, teenage, years for daring to want to be, do, and experience something different.
I have been that double-minded man spoken of in the Bible who asks yet wavers, attempting to walk the fence or tight rope between two worlds/two lives: the one that I truly want to experience and have long dreamed and continue to dream about—the one that keeps me up some nights and terrifies me—and the one that I think I’m supposed to experience because it’s the life that people like me live and it's "just the way things are." That other life, the one that haunts me, that’s for special people, other people, NOT ME people.
Granted, I have come close to stepping into that life in physical reality, damn close, throughout various periods of my adulthood only to watch it collapse like a stack of cards typically because of my actions. I’m only now realizing in this moment, that it hasn’t been so much my actions causing my dreams to collapse before me but my beliefs about what achieving them might mean for me and for those I care about. What will my friends think of me if I...? My family? My parents’ friends and associates?
I am a minister’s daughter after all and many of the dreams and desires for my life aren’t readily accepted among those in my or my family’s social circle of God-fearing Pentecostal Christians. Nor are they readily accepted as being appropriate or even achievable for members of my ethnic group or among the extended family consisting of the people who live/lived in the neighborhood in which I grew up—the people who have known me since my earliest memories of myself.
Fearing rejection, fearing loss of acceptance from my loved ones and, honestly, fearing the responsibility and the public scrutiny that can come with stepping into the spotlight, I self-sabotage. Trust me, this hasn’t been done consciously. Doesn’t matter though, as the results are the same. Rather than confidently heading in the directions of my dreams, I end up far off in the opposite direction.
If I were writing this five years ago, I would believe it’s part of God’s divine plan—that He is or was the one throwing up roadblocks because He wanted me to go in a different direction. I now know better. It is me and only me stopping me.
I want to be loved and accepted by those I love and care for, but at what price? When is the cost of fitting in and conforming too high? When is the sacrificing of your desires to please others too great? When is contracting oneself to avoid standing out so as not to risk being rejected/cut down by your tribe simply not worth the inner pain and suffering? Really, what does it profit a person (me) to gain the love of the whole world (or at least the people I know in this world) and lose her (my) very soul?
These are the questions plaguing my heart today. Truth, whenever I do that fitting in thing or contracting myself to be more acceptable to others, I always feel this “ick” afterward. I believe it’s my inner self’s way of calling me on my BS—“just stop it!”
I know the life I desire is here for me now; it is only waiting for me to choose it and commit to it. I also know that the universe, my external world, only ever reflects back to me what I am feeling or thinking internally. As long as I continue to believe that pursuing my dreams means being alienated from or rejected by those I love and care about, that will be my reality.
I have a choice to make and a life to live. Now's the time to get on with it. Teetering the fence between two lives is no longer a viable option for me.
"All denial is self denial." Stuart Lindell, direct student of Neville Goddard
"If you construct in your mind a wall where there actually is none, you will force yourself to behave as though such a wall is actually pervasively in your way." Kidest Om
There isn’t anything wrong at all with the reality in which my friends live. It works for them. It’s what they know and have come to accept is a “normal” way of life. You put in your 40 hours a week, enduring all manner of situations that annoy you, so you can earn money to buy a car, house, clothes, food, etc. That's how life works, right?
As a treat for your hard work and sacrifice, you spend your down time doing things that feel more fun: watching the latest crop of television programming intended to either entertain or infuriate you, going to the movies, maybe, taking a cruise some place when you have vacation time, provided you have enough money, attending church, or checking out a new or familiar restaurant. If you're married or have a family, you might do something with your partner and kids, or not. You stress about bills, the mortgage, car notes, your spouse and/or kids, and you get together to commiserate about your stupid bosses and co-workers, how your partner or kids are making you nuts, or how challenged you are trying to manage all the cadre of ailments you been diagnosed with.
If it seems I’m being judgmental, I’m not. My friends and family are content with their lifestyles—they’ve chosen it, consciously or unconsciously. Doesn’t matter, they seem content to do what they do.
As for me, I’ve always wanted more, or rather, something vastly different, as “more” implies judgment. Ever since I was a teenager, tween even, I've desired and still desire a different way of being, doing, and living my life. I could see it. I could feel it. It moved me to action on the one hand and terrified me on the other. Try as I might, I haven’t been able to let it go. In my imagination, my daydreams, I saw a preview of what my life could be and I cannot let it go.
As I’m pondering all of this, it hit me—the guilt I’ve been carrying with me since my tween, teenage, years for daring to want to be, do, and experience something different.
I have been that double-minded man spoken of in the Bible who asks yet wavers, attempting to walk the fence or tight rope between two worlds/two lives: the one that I truly want to experience and have long dreamed and continue to dream about—the one that keeps me up some nights and terrifies me—and the one that I think I’m supposed to experience because it’s the life that people like me live and it's "just the way things are." That other life, the one that haunts me, that’s for special people, other people, NOT ME people.
Granted, I have come close to stepping into that life in physical reality, damn close, throughout various periods of my adulthood only to watch it collapse like a stack of cards typically because of my actions. I’m only now realizing in this moment, that it hasn’t been so much my actions causing my dreams to collapse before me but my beliefs about what achieving them might mean for me and for those I care about. What will my friends think of me if I...? My family? My parents’ friends and associates?
I am a minister’s daughter after all and many of the dreams and desires for my life aren’t readily accepted among those in my or my family’s social circle of God-fearing Pentecostal Christians. Nor are they readily accepted as being appropriate or even achievable for members of my ethnic group or among the extended family consisting of the people who live/lived in the neighborhood in which I grew up—the people who have known me since my earliest memories of myself.
Fearing rejection, fearing loss of acceptance from my loved ones and, honestly, fearing the responsibility and the public scrutiny that can come with stepping into the spotlight, I self-sabotage. Trust me, this hasn’t been done consciously. Doesn’t matter though, as the results are the same. Rather than confidently heading in the directions of my dreams, I end up far off in the opposite direction.
If I were writing this five years ago, I would believe it’s part of God’s divine plan—that He is or was the one throwing up roadblocks because He wanted me to go in a different direction. I now know better. It is me and only me stopping me.
I want to be loved and accepted by those I love and care for, but at what price? When is the cost of fitting in and conforming too high? When is the sacrificing of your desires to please others too great? When is contracting oneself to avoid standing out so as not to risk being rejected/cut down by your tribe simply not worth the inner pain and suffering? Really, what does it profit a person (me) to gain the love of the whole world (or at least the people I know in this world) and lose her (my) very soul?
These are the questions plaguing my heart today. Truth, whenever I do that fitting in thing or contracting myself to be more acceptable to others, I always feel this “ick” afterward. I believe it’s my inner self’s way of calling me on my BS—“just stop it!”
I know the life I desire is here for me now; it is only waiting for me to choose it and commit to it. I also know that the universe, my external world, only ever reflects back to me what I am feeling or thinking internally. As long as I continue to believe that pursuing my dreams means being alienated from or rejected by those I love and care about, that will be my reality.
I have a choice to make and a life to live. Now's the time to get on with it. Teetering the fence between two lives is no longer a viable option for me.
"All denial is self denial." Stuart Lindell, direct student of Neville Goddard
"If you construct in your mind a wall where there actually is none, you will force yourself to behave as though such a wall is actually pervasively in your way." Kidest Om
Thursday, December 7, 2017
Monday, October 16, 2017
Children are Wonderful Teachers
Children really are wonderful teachers. As adults, we think it’s our job and responsibility to teach them, but children are precious gifts sent to teach us, or rather remind us of who we are and of what we are capable when we allow ourselves to simply imagine and BE.
Keeping in line with the theme of my musings of the past few days about the joys of rediscovering childlike wonder, I received the following feedback from the Universe today via author Pam Grout:
I particularly enjoyed Pam sharing a story about her friend’s granddaughter. While dancing with great abandon one day, the young girl was asked if she wanted to be a dancer when she grew up, to which she replied: “I already am!”
I was once that young girl. I so imagined being a dancer, undeterred by my parents’ refusal to let me take dance lessons, I spent hours dancing in the living room and basement of our home as if I already were one.
My desire was so strong that at age of 6, I attracted into my life another 6-year old, one of my best friends until about age 18, who was studying ballet. During recess she and her older sister would “teach” me everything they were learning in ballet class, which I’d later practice at home. We even devised a plan to convince my parents to let me take lessons, but it didn't go very well.
Years later, as an adult, when I finally took my first formal dance lesson, I plunged in, albeit nervously, and it was among the best things I ever did for myself. Not only have I participated in and won awards at numerous competitions, I've also formed relationships with some pretty awesome people. Best of all, I feel my most happiest and free when dancing just like I did when I was four!
You can read Pam Grout’s full blog post here.
Keeping in line with the theme of my musings of the past few days about the joys of rediscovering childlike wonder, I received the following feedback from the Universe today via author Pam Grout:
“When it comes to creativity, all you have to do is channel your inner four-year-old.
Preschoolers don’t sit in front of a pail of legos thinking, “Nah! Not feeling it today.” They don’t wonder if they’re talented enough. They don’t question their ability, worry what someone will think.
They plunge in, unhindered, free, happy.”
I particularly enjoyed Pam sharing a story about her friend’s granddaughter. While dancing with great abandon one day, the young girl was asked if she wanted to be a dancer when she grew up, to which she replied: “I already am!”
I was once that young girl. I so imagined being a dancer, undeterred by my parents’ refusal to let me take dance lessons, I spent hours dancing in the living room and basement of our home as if I already were one.
My desire was so strong that at age of 6, I attracted into my life another 6-year old, one of my best friends until about age 18, who was studying ballet. During recess she and her older sister would “teach” me everything they were learning in ballet class, which I’d later practice at home. We even devised a plan to convince my parents to let me take lessons, but it didn't go very well.
Years later, as an adult, when I finally took my first formal dance lesson, I plunged in, albeit nervously, and it was among the best things I ever did for myself. Not only have I participated in and won awards at numerous competitions, I've also formed relationships with some pretty awesome people. Best of all, I feel my most happiest and free when dancing just like I did when I was four!
You can read Pam Grout’s full blog post here.
Monday, September 18, 2017
Disregard Appearances—Believe Only
"When it seems like nothing is happening, that is when everything is happening." - Catherine Ponder
Believe only. That was today’s inspirational message from Joel Osteen, based upon the story of the Jairus, the man who sought out Jesus to heal his daughter who was gravely ill.
Jesus was interrupted several times on route to Jairus’ home to heal the young girl, and before reaching their destination, they received word it was too late: the girl had died.
But the story doesn't end there. “Believe only,” was all Jesus said to Jairus in one account of the story. “Believe only.” In spite of what you just heard, in spite of what you might even see later, “Believe only.”
Before Jairus himself could even say to Jesus “never mind, Lord, it’s too late,” effectively cancelling his request, he is told to “Believe only.”
“Disregard appearances, conditions, in fact all evidence of the senses that deny the fulfillment of your desire. Rest in the assumption that you are already what you want to be,” is how Neville Goddard frames it.
I will attest it is so much easier said than done. I am, as most people are, accustomed to judging my circumstances and conditions—whether they’re improving or getting worse or not at all changing—based upon what my five physical senses experience in the external world. It is challenging to accept that my physical senses do not and cannot see the whole truth of what is.
As Paul says: "So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." (2 Corinthians 4:18)
Yet that is what I am determined to do—fix my eyes on what I desire to see and experience and disregard any and all things that don’t conform to that ideal. Believe only. Believe only, and even that which is dead can be restored to life.
Friday, September 15, 2017
It is By Grace
Today I learned an important lesson about grace. Yesterday was my birthday and while I was and am grateful to be celebrating another year of life on this planet we call earth, I was feeling a bit down on myself. Just a few days ago I posted about how I am choosing to be my own best friend rather than my own worst enemy and avoid judging myself harshly for faults, real or imagined. Yet yesterday and today I spent a lot of time in a state of forgetfulness of my previous choice, berating myself for not being more successful as I define success and for not having accomplished all that I had hoped to at this stage of life. In fact, a moment ago I was curled up in bed feeling little motivation to do anything in the middle of a day. I was feeling as if my typical buoyant, over-achiever self had run off for parts unknown.
Based on what I’ve been learning about achieving success and deliberately creating a life you love, this is clearly not the way to accomplish either. Neither supposedly is wallowing in negative, low-vibe emotions and thoughts and I was experiencing plenty of those yesterday and today. So, imagine my surprise when in the middle of this negative spiraling, I received the much-needed financial break through I’d been praying for.
I mean, even though I had prayed and was hoping for a miracle, I was feeling desperate and panicked (more low-vibe emotions that are said to repel your good). All kinds of doubts had set in. The voices in my head were continually whispering to me “you’re screwed,” “it’s not going to happen,” “you are not going to get what you want,” “how can you expect to create anything good in this state?” “you know you don’t deserve it.” etc., etc. Yet...
The voices were wrong!! In spite of me, in spite of my mood, in spite of my doubts, I still received the miracle I had asked for. I am truly awed.
“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” 2 Corinthians 12:9
Based on what I’ve been learning about achieving success and deliberately creating a life you love, this is clearly not the way to accomplish either. Neither supposedly is wallowing in negative, low-vibe emotions and thoughts and I was experiencing plenty of those yesterday and today. So, imagine my surprise when in the middle of this negative spiraling, I received the much-needed financial break through I’d been praying for.
I mean, even though I had prayed and was hoping for a miracle, I was feeling desperate and panicked (more low-vibe emotions that are said to repel your good). All kinds of doubts had set in. The voices in my head were continually whispering to me “you’re screwed,” “it’s not going to happen,” “you are not going to get what you want,” “how can you expect to create anything good in this state?” “you know you don’t deserve it.” etc., etc. Yet...
The voices were wrong!! In spite of me, in spite of my mood, in spite of my doubts, I still received the miracle I had asked for. I am truly awed.
“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” 2 Corinthians 12:9
Monday, September 11, 2017
Experiencing Life from the Inside Out
"Whatever you want in your experience, hold it first of all, accept it first of all in your consciousness." Rev. Ike
I enjoyed a fun and refreshing three-mile walk again today. It’s surprising, although it shouldn’t be, how much my body has transformed over the past four months, and with ease and flow. It’s still a work in progress, but I’m liking, loving, the way it looks and feels.
“I easily and effortlessly maintain a healthy, fit and toned 137-pound body” has been my mantra, affirmation, assertion, belief since May following a disappointing weigh-in at my doctor’s office where after all of my effort to reduce my weight, I learned I had gained four pounds. About two years ago, I picked up 20 extra pounds that my body seemed determined to stubbornly hang onto despite my best efforts to release the extra. At least two doctors and some well-meaning friends had suggested that because I was nearing an age where women typically begin experiencing menopause, weight gain was to be expected as the body's hormonal levels shift.
That's one point of view. I didn't like it, so I made a conscious choice to reject it as I know a number of pre- and post-menopausal women for whom this so-called fact of aging doesn't hold true. Just as it doesn't hold true that all people once they reach a certain age will begin to experience memory loss or joint problems. (I know an 85-year old woman who can still do a full split. I couldn't do one when I was 16.)
When it was also suggested that I consider enrolling in a more stringent, and expensive, diet program, something clicked inside of me. “I am more powerful than that,” I’m sure of it. I realized in that moment, my body wasn't the issue; my mind was.
I declined the program and armed with the knowledge I had already acquired of how the body works as well as how the mind works, I set my aim and focused. I began journaling and affirming daily “I easily and effortlessly maintain a healthy, fit, and toned 137-pound body.” I began imagining myself wearing my favorite clothes again. I began seeing and feeling myself at my ideal body weight. I accepted it as a done deal.
I continued my daily walks, increasing the number of miles. I started a light combination yoga/ballet regime and tweaked my eating habits by learning to listen to my body to better distinguish between true hunger and emotional hunger—I’m bored, I’m sad, I’m upset, etc. Most days, I eat when I’m hungry and when I'm not hungry, I don’t eat. I also made a choice to not stress out over every morsel of food I put in my mouth as to its being good or bad for me. I haven't perfected this as there have been days or moments when I've stressed out a little, nobody’s perfect. More often than not, I feel at peace with whatever I am choosing to eat, and I enjoy it fully.
None of this was hard. In fact, it felt easy. It felt fun. It felt like a game at times. I even started secretly competing with my brother, who also likes to walk, to see if I could keep pace with his total steps/mileage per day.
A few days ago, I wore a pair of my favorite jeans that I hadn’t been able to fit into for months. I’m now logging an average of 3 to 5 miles or more on my daily walks, which I enjoy immensely because I find they also help to clear negative mind chatter. I added breath work into the mix. It helps with my singing and I'm finding it allows me achieve a deeper meditative state during my mini-meditations.
During the past month, I picked up an additional habit that I’ve found helpful: mirror work. It’s something I learned from author Louise Hay, the founder of Hay House publications which along with Oprah helped make Wayne Dyer famous. I’m inspired by her story of how she healed herself of a serious illness and later created Hay House in her 60s.
Anytime I pass by or look at myself in a mirror these days, I make it a point to say something loving to myself. “Hello, beautiful.” “Looking good!” “Hey, sexy!”
Narcissistic? Nah. Loving? Absolutely!
I firmly believe that I can only experience in my external world, what I’m willing to allow myself to experience in my internal world. I’ve spent years allowing myself to experience much crap internally. I’ve judged myself, and quite harshly, for not being smarter, or taller, or shorter, or thinner, or bigger, or for working too hard, or not working hard enough, for being too trusting or not trusting enough, too nice, not nice enough, the list goes on and on and on. I'd become quite skilled at beating myself up for the slightest failure, mistake or perceived shortcoming.
Honestly, if a friend said the things about me that I’ve sometimes said to and about myself, we would not be friends. It's also been my experience that shaming and harsh criticism is the least effective way to inspire long-term change in anyone. So, I've decided to be kinder and gentler to myself. Charity should always begin at home.
And, it’s paying off. I feel healthier. I feel stronger. Most of all, I feel empowered. If I can transform this one aspect of my life by simply changing my mindset—changing how I see myself—what else can I accomplish?
I enjoyed a fun and refreshing three-mile walk again today. It’s surprising, although it shouldn’t be, how much my body has transformed over the past four months, and with ease and flow. It’s still a work in progress, but I’m liking, loving, the way it looks and feels.
“I easily and effortlessly maintain a healthy, fit and toned 137-pound body” has been my mantra, affirmation, assertion, belief since May following a disappointing weigh-in at my doctor’s office where after all of my effort to reduce my weight, I learned I had gained four pounds. About two years ago, I picked up 20 extra pounds that my body seemed determined to stubbornly hang onto despite my best efforts to release the extra. At least two doctors and some well-meaning friends had suggested that because I was nearing an age where women typically begin experiencing menopause, weight gain was to be expected as the body's hormonal levels shift.
That's one point of view. I didn't like it, so I made a conscious choice to reject it as I know a number of pre- and post-menopausal women for whom this so-called fact of aging doesn't hold true. Just as it doesn't hold true that all people once they reach a certain age will begin to experience memory loss or joint problems. (I know an 85-year old woman who can still do a full split. I couldn't do one when I was 16.)
When it was also suggested that I consider enrolling in a more stringent, and expensive, diet program, something clicked inside of me. “I am more powerful than that,” I’m sure of it. I realized in that moment, my body wasn't the issue; my mind was.
I declined the program and armed with the knowledge I had already acquired of how the body works as well as how the mind works, I set my aim and focused. I began journaling and affirming daily “I easily and effortlessly maintain a healthy, fit, and toned 137-pound body.” I began imagining myself wearing my favorite clothes again. I began seeing and feeling myself at my ideal body weight. I accepted it as a done deal.
I continued my daily walks, increasing the number of miles. I started a light combination yoga/ballet regime and tweaked my eating habits by learning to listen to my body to better distinguish between true hunger and emotional hunger—I’m bored, I’m sad, I’m upset, etc. Most days, I eat when I’m hungry and when I'm not hungry, I don’t eat. I also made a choice to not stress out over every morsel of food I put in my mouth as to its being good or bad for me. I haven't perfected this as there have been days or moments when I've stressed out a little, nobody’s perfect. More often than not, I feel at peace with whatever I am choosing to eat, and I enjoy it fully.
None of this was hard. In fact, it felt easy. It felt fun. It felt like a game at times. I even started secretly competing with my brother, who also likes to walk, to see if I could keep pace with his total steps/mileage per day.
A few days ago, I wore a pair of my favorite jeans that I hadn’t been able to fit into for months. I’m now logging an average of 3 to 5 miles or more on my daily walks, which I enjoy immensely because I find they also help to clear negative mind chatter. I added breath work into the mix. It helps with my singing and I'm finding it allows me achieve a deeper meditative state during my mini-meditations.
During the past month, I picked up an additional habit that I’ve found helpful: mirror work. It’s something I learned from author Louise Hay, the founder of Hay House publications which along with Oprah helped make Wayne Dyer famous. I’m inspired by her story of how she healed herself of a serious illness and later created Hay House in her 60s.
Anytime I pass by or look at myself in a mirror these days, I make it a point to say something loving to myself. “Hello, beautiful.” “Looking good!” “Hey, sexy!”
Narcissistic? Nah. Loving? Absolutely!
I firmly believe that I can only experience in my external world, what I’m willing to allow myself to experience in my internal world. I’ve spent years allowing myself to experience much crap internally. I’ve judged myself, and quite harshly, for not being smarter, or taller, or shorter, or thinner, or bigger, or for working too hard, or not working hard enough, for being too trusting or not trusting enough, too nice, not nice enough, the list goes on and on and on. I'd become quite skilled at beating myself up for the slightest failure, mistake or perceived shortcoming.
Honestly, if a friend said the things about me that I’ve sometimes said to and about myself, we would not be friends. It's also been my experience that shaming and harsh criticism is the least effective way to inspire long-term change in anyone. So, I've decided to be kinder and gentler to myself. Charity should always begin at home.
And, it’s paying off. I feel healthier. I feel stronger. Most of all, I feel empowered. If I can transform this one aspect of my life by simply changing my mindset—changing how I see myself—what else can I accomplish?
Tuesday, August 29, 2017
Being Grateful and at Peace Through Life's Storms
Today, I’m thinking of all the people who are suffering because of the hurricane that hit the U.S. Gulf Coast. The hundreds of thousands of people displaced from their homes, and those who have lost their lives. My thoughts and prayers are for grace, calm and safety for those residing in the region, and for strength to rebuild once the storm has passed. And pass it will.
It’s so easy to feel sorry for yourself when things in your life don’t seem to be going as well as you’d like. It’s even easier, it seems, to overlook all that you do have to be grateful for because you’re so fixated on all the problems or things going wrong.
Today, I am choosing to be grateful and know that I am doing well despite what outer circumstances and my beliefs tell me. I am still here. I am still breathing. I have food to eat, clothes to wear, and a roof over my head. Most of all, my mind and body are still active and functioning. As my grandmother used to remind us—loosely quoted from the Bible—“a living dog is better than a dead lion.”
Even when life isn't all that you desire it to be, consider the alternative and you’ll come to realize that you are still blessed.
It’s so easy to feel sorry for yourself when things in your life don’t seem to be going as well as you’d like. It’s even easier, it seems, to overlook all that you do have to be grateful for because you’re so fixated on all the problems or things going wrong.
Today, I am choosing to be grateful and know that I am doing well despite what outer circumstances and my beliefs tell me. I am still here. I am still breathing. I have food to eat, clothes to wear, and a roof over my head. Most of all, my mind and body are still active and functioning. As my grandmother used to remind us—loosely quoted from the Bible—“a living dog is better than a dead lion.”
Even when life isn't all that you desire it to be, consider the alternative and you’ll come to realize that you are still blessed.
Tuesday, August 8, 2017
Set the Course of Your Day Before You Get out of Bed
Despite having experienced a nearly sleepless night, I am feeling inspired and energized today. Funny how that happens.
Admittedly, it took me a while to get going this morning and I had to give myself a serious pep talk about what an awesome day this was going to be. Once up, I was raring to go and got going. I walked my three miles, enjoyed a nice, healthy salad and even did some cleaning.
In every moment of every day, we are given the opportunity to choose our future. And our first thoughts upon waking can be the difference between experiencing a great day or the day seemingly from hell (We’ve all had those days, right?).
Are you waking up excited about the day, knowing it's going to be amazing?
Or, do you get up in dread and fear of what awaits and feeling overwhelmed by all the things you "need" to do?
I’m sharing (with permission) this video link I received today from CrackYourEgg.com to inspire you to begin each day on a high note.
http://www.flickspire.com/m/CrackYourE848/FirstThing
Enjoy, and have an awesome day!
Admittedly, it took me a while to get going this morning and I had to give myself a serious pep talk about what an awesome day this was going to be. Once up, I was raring to go and got going. I walked my three miles, enjoyed a nice, healthy salad and even did some cleaning.
In every moment of every day, we are given the opportunity to choose our future. And our first thoughts upon waking can be the difference between experiencing a great day or the day seemingly from hell (We’ve all had those days, right?).
Are you waking up excited about the day, knowing it's going to be amazing?
Or, do you get up in dread and fear of what awaits and feeling overwhelmed by all the things you "need" to do?
I’m sharing (with permission) this video link I received today from CrackYourEgg.com to inspire you to begin each day on a high note.
http://www.flickspire.com/m/CrackYourE848/FirstThing
Enjoy, and have an awesome day!
Wednesday, July 19, 2017
Is it Time to Change Your Story?
“The only thing standing between you and your goal is the bullshit story you keep telling yourself as to why you can't achieve it.” – Jordan Belfort (the Wolf of Wall Street)
I included the above quote at the bottom of my last post, but felt the need to highlight it today after reading an article on LinkedIn about a woman in India, paralyzed from the neck down, who earns R 2,00,000 monthly (the approx. equivalent of $3,111 U.S. dollars).
According to the article, the woman, Sujata, was injured in a car accident while returning home with her family one evening in 2001. The accident caused severe damage to her spinal cord and after months of treatment, doctors determined she would not be able to walk again. She was only 21.
Concerned about becoming a financial burden to her family, Sujata wanted to find a way to earn money while being at home. Based on advice from friends, she decided to begin investing in the stock market. It was difficult at first, she says, to type on her laptop because of her paralysis. She now easily uses her laptop to do trades.
Sujata has become so successful at trading that she is now financially self-reliant, earning R 2,00,000 to R 2,50,000 every month. She has also started an organization to work with children who have spinal cord injuries.
You can read the full story written by Dr. Vivek Bindra on LinkedIn.
It’s well past time I let go of my BS story. How about you?
Need more inspiration? Check this out.
"Change your story, change your life." – Tony Robbins
"You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step." – Martin Luther King, Jr.
Friday, July 7, 2017
Disregarding Appearances
Live
your life in a sublime spirit of confidence and determination;
disregard appearances, conditions, in fact all evidence of the senses
that deny the fulfillment of your desire. Rest in the assumption that
you are already what you want to be. – Neville Goddard
This journey I’m on feels scary and even lonely at times, yet I’m determined, fiercely so, to get through all of the current drama and step into my preferred reality of abundance, divine health, eternal youthfulness, fun, love, joy, peace, adventure—my life of sheer and utter bliss!!
To paraphrase the main character from one of my favorite movies, Auntie Mame, life’s a banquet serving up all sorts of amazing experiences, but most people are choosing to starve instead, or consume the same lame meal day after day after day.
Not me. I'm choosing to enjoy life's banquet offerings. I'm choosing to be, to feel myself into amazingly exciting experiences and the life of my choice. I’m choosing to believe that my desires and dreams, no matter how outrageous others think them, are not only possible, but already are.
And how will it all come about? I don’t know, but I’m choosing to trust that it’s all happening now. Even in those moments, especially in those moments, when external circumstances suggest it ain’t so.
"For we walk by faith, not by sight." – 2 Corinthians 5:7
“You can’t be Average and Amazing – at the same time.” – Mr Twenty Twenty (Life Coach, FreeNeville.com)
This journey I’m on feels scary and even lonely at times, yet I’m determined, fiercely so, to get through all of the current drama and step into my preferred reality of abundance, divine health, eternal youthfulness, fun, love, joy, peace, adventure—my life of sheer and utter bliss!!
To paraphrase the main character from one of my favorite movies, Auntie Mame, life’s a banquet serving up all sorts of amazing experiences, but most people are choosing to starve instead, or consume the same lame meal day after day after day.
Not me. I'm choosing to enjoy life's banquet offerings. I'm choosing to be, to feel myself into amazingly exciting experiences and the life of my choice. I’m choosing to believe that my desires and dreams, no matter how outrageous others think them, are not only possible, but already are.
And how will it all come about? I don’t know, but I’m choosing to trust that it’s all happening now. Even in those moments, especially in those moments, when external circumstances suggest it ain’t so.
"For we walk by faith, not by sight." – 2 Corinthians 5:7
“You can’t be Average and Amazing – at the same time.” – Mr Twenty Twenty (Life Coach, FreeNeville.com)
Wednesday, June 21, 2017
A Word Received in Due Season—He Will Finish
"How good and delightful is a word spoken at the right moment," reads one of the Proverbs recorded in the Bible. A word received via email at the right moment is equally as good and delightful.
I find that often times just a little encouragement is all I need to get going whenever I feel stuck or confused as I navigate life's many twists and turns on the way to living my dreams. Could you use a little encouragement today?
I receive daily messages via email from Joel Osteen Ministries. I enjoy reading them as I find them to be very encouraging and faith building. I've twice had the opportunity to hear him speak in person, once at Lakewood and once in D.C., and both times I left feeling full of hope and re-energized.
Today's message from Joel was very timely and much needed by me, so I decided to share it. Be encouraged.
Are you believing for something that seems like it’s taking longer than you hoped? Maybe you’ve been praying for a loved one. Maybe you’ve believed for a situation to change for years. Don’t get discouraged. God is going to finish what He started! He is a faithful God, and He has something unmatched, unparalleled coming your way—favor, breakthroughs, restoration like you haven’t seen before!
God has been good to all of us in the past, but I believe we’re coming into a time where we will see greater anointing, greater power and greater victories! The key is that we have to stay in agreement with God. We should get up every morning and say, “Father, thank You for Your unprecedented favor. Thank You for the immeasurable, unlimited, surpassing greatness of Your power.” If you keep standing in faith, I believe you’re going to come into more of those days where you stand in utter amazement and say, “Wow, God! I’ve never seen anything like this before!”
Remember, scripture says, “Is there anything too hard for the Lord?” No, nothing is impossible when we put our faith and trust in Him. Today, keep standing, keep believing and keep hoping because God has something astounding in store for your future!
Joel Osteen Ministries
I find that often times just a little encouragement is all I need to get going whenever I feel stuck or confused as I navigate life's many twists and turns on the way to living my dreams. Could you use a little encouragement today?
I receive daily messages via email from Joel Osteen Ministries. I enjoy reading them as I find them to be very encouraging and faith building. I've twice had the opportunity to hear him speak in person, once at Lakewood and once in D.C., and both times I left feeling full of hope and re-energized.
Today's message from Joel was very timely and much needed by me, so I decided to share it. Be encouraged.
He Will Finish
Are you believing for something that seems like it’s taking longer than you hoped? Maybe you’ve been praying for a loved one. Maybe you’ve believed for a situation to change for years. Don’t get discouraged. God is going to finish what He started! He is a faithful God, and He has something unmatched, unparalleled coming your way—favor, breakthroughs, restoration like you haven’t seen before!
God has been good to all of us in the past, but I believe we’re coming into a time where we will see greater anointing, greater power and greater victories! The key is that we have to stay in agreement with God. We should get up every morning and say, “Father, thank You for Your unprecedented favor. Thank You for the immeasurable, unlimited, surpassing greatness of Your power.” If you keep standing in faith, I believe you’re going to come into more of those days where you stand in utter amazement and say, “Wow, God! I’ve never seen anything like this before!”
Remember, scripture says, “Is there anything too hard for the Lord?” No, nothing is impossible when we put our faith and trust in Him. Today, keep standing, keep believing and keep hoping because God has something astounding in store for your future!
Joel Osteen Ministries
Sunday, June 4, 2017
Learning to Ask the Right Questions
Never settle for less, don’t ever think it’s too late, and never, ever, ever compromise a dream. – Mike Dooley
I’ve spent the past six months wondering how did I get into the current hot mess of a situation that appears to be my current reality: How did I end up so far removed from my ideal life? Today as I asked the question, I realized I’ve been asking the wrong question. The more empowering question is how do I step into the life I am meant to live, that I aspire to and dream about—the life of joy, abundance, opulence, and beauty that I’ve imagined since I was a child?
Is it really as easy as just changing my thoughts, beliefs, and feelings about myself? Is it really as easy as learning to ignore current conditions, circumstances, and appearances, knowing all of it is only the result of past thoughts, feelings, and beliefs and must pass as all things are temporary?
Is it really as simple as just drawing a line in the sand and making a freaking decision to “come out from among them,” meaning to let go of the low-level living and ideas that I’ve settled for and bought into as "truth" and simply step into the abundant, opulent life I’ve dreamed about?
Whenever I think of my dreams, whenever I take the slightest step toward them, feelings of insecurity, of fear, of anxiety, of “not good enoughness,” quickly emerge. They are real to me, they are palpable. I feel them now throughout my body. Yet, rather than believing they are intended to and allowing them to stop me from achieving my dreams, today I choose to see them as gifts telling me that there is more inner work to do. But just because I have more inner work to do to reach that place of feeling more secure and confident—the place of knowing that I have value simply because I am—that doesn’t have to mean that I don’t now get to experience, be, do, or have all the good I choose to experience, be, do, and have.
I am a work in progress; yet my good is mine to claim now.
"Beloved, now, children of God are we, and it was not yet manifested what we shall be..." (1 John 3:2 - Young's Literal Translation)
I’ve spent the past six months wondering how did I get into the current hot mess of a situation that appears to be my current reality: How did I end up so far removed from my ideal life? Today as I asked the question, I realized I’ve been asking the wrong question. The more empowering question is how do I step into the life I am meant to live, that I aspire to and dream about—the life of joy, abundance, opulence, and beauty that I’ve imagined since I was a child?
Is it really as easy as just changing my thoughts, beliefs, and feelings about myself? Is it really as easy as learning to ignore current conditions, circumstances, and appearances, knowing all of it is only the result of past thoughts, feelings, and beliefs and must pass as all things are temporary?
Is it really as simple as just drawing a line in the sand and making a freaking decision to “come out from among them,” meaning to let go of the low-level living and ideas that I’ve settled for and bought into as "truth" and simply step into the abundant, opulent life I’ve dreamed about?
Whenever I think of my dreams, whenever I take the slightest step toward them, feelings of insecurity, of fear, of anxiety, of “not good enoughness,” quickly emerge. They are real to me, they are palpable. I feel them now throughout my body. Yet, rather than believing they are intended to and allowing them to stop me from achieving my dreams, today I choose to see them as gifts telling me that there is more inner work to do. But just because I have more inner work to do to reach that place of feeling more secure and confident—the place of knowing that I have value simply because I am—that doesn’t have to mean that I don’t now get to experience, be, do, or have all the good I choose to experience, be, do, and have.
I am a work in progress; yet my good is mine to claim now.
"Beloved, now, children of God are we, and it was not yet manifested what we shall be..." (1 John 3:2 - Young's Literal Translation)
Tuesday, May 23, 2017
15 Life Lessons from Dr. Seuss
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| Flowerhorn fish I saw at a local aquarium."Hey there, gorgeous!" |
I'm a Dr. Seuss fan and have been since, well... before I could read. Among the first Seuss books I remember being exposed to are Green Eggs and Ham and The Cat in the Hat.
I don't know that I fully grasped the life lessons he was sharing in his books, but they were so much to fun listen to, and eventually read, when I was a child. "I do not like green eggs and ham! I do not like them, Sam-I-am."
Now, whenever I have the chance to share Dr. Seuss' books with the little ones in my life, I do. And I feel as much joy now reading them to children as I did hearing them as a child with the added advantage of being able to appreciate the life lessons they contain.
For a bit of fun and encouragement, here are 15 more of my favorite sayings from the master of storytelling and poetic meter.
My 15 Favorite Seuss-isms
- You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. (From "Oh, the Places You'll Go")
- You do not like them. So you say. Try them! Try them! And you may!! (From "Green Eggs and Ham")
- Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It is not. And will you succeed? Yes indeed, yes indeed! Ninety-eight and three-quarters percent guaranteed! (From "The Lorax")
- You're off to great places. Today is your day! Your mountain is waiting. So get on your way. (From "Oh, the Places You'll Go!")
- I meant what I said, and I said what I meant. An elephant's faithful, one hundred percent. (From "Horton Hatches the Egg")
- Today is gone. Today was fun. Tomorrow is another one. Every day, from here to there, funny things are everywhere. (From "One fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish")
- If you never did you should. These things are fun and fun is good! (From "One fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish")
- Why fit in when you were born to stand out?
- It's not about what it is. It's about what it can become. (From "The Lorax")
- I learned there are troubles of more than one kind. Some come from ahead and some come from behind. But I’ve bought a big bat. I’m all ready you see. Now my troubles are going to have troubles with me! (From "I Had Trouble in Getting to Solla Sollew")
- He puzzled and puzzled till his puzzler was sore. Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn’t before. Maybe, Christmas, he thought doesn’t come from a store. Maybe Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more. (From "How the Grinch Stole Christmas")
- In the places I go there are things that I see That I never could spell if I stopped with the Z. I'm telling you this 'cause you're one of my friends. My alphabet starts where your alphabet ends! (From "On Beyond Zebra!")
- You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.
- Think and wonder. Wonder and think.
- You find magic wherever you look. Sit back and relax. All you need is a book. (From "The Cat in the Hat")
For added fun, maybe I'll have some green eggs and ham for breakfast tomorrow. (Such is the magic you can make with food coloring!)
Thank you, Dr. Seuss.
Monday, May 22, 2017
Finding Peace in the Midst of a "Storm"
Yesterday evening proved to be a challenging one with my mom who was not in one of her better moods. After attempting a few things to calm her and me, I threw up my hands and retired to (at least attempted to) the guest room. As I lie across the bed I tried again to meditate, and then pray for some peace. Still feeling exasperated, the best I could come up with was "Lord, help!", which I've heard through some spiritual and religious teachings is as effective a prayer as any.
Moments later I remembered a prayer I'd found on the Internet that had helped me through a similar situation a couple of years ago. So I decided to look for it again and found it!!!
It's attributed to the late Raymond Charles Barker, a Religious Science minister and contemporary of New Thought teachers Joseph Murphy, Ernest Holmes, and Neville Goddard,* whose teachings have inspired me.
It's such a beautiful prayer, I want to share it.
* Unlike his many of his New Thought contemporaries, Goddard didn't maintain an affiliation with any particular church. I mention it only because it was something that seemed important to him, based on his teachings, that his ideas not be affiliated with promoting the dogma of any particular church.
Moments later I remembered a prayer I'd found on the Internet that had helped me through a similar situation a couple of years ago. So I decided to look for it again and found it!!!
It's attributed to the late Raymond Charles Barker, a Religious Science minister and contemporary of New Thought teachers Joseph Murphy, Ernest Holmes, and Neville Goddard,* whose teachings have inspired me.
It's such a beautiful prayer, I want to share it.
Glory Lives In My Heart
Warm is the love of the Eternal, and it glows within me, satisfying my soul. I am fed in all my depths of emotional need by this inner well of Compassion. The universe glows with kindliness. Everyone offers me the warmth of love and the joy of friendship. The Glory of God is upon me, and I rest in Its perfect action. This deep inner sense of well-being is now forever established within me.
The expanding Power of God is the joy of my soul. Every good increases, and every good feeling is accentuated. The Holy Spirit of Peace is upon me and resident in me. Glorious is my day, and my heart rejoices. This inner deep feeling of greatness now directs my thought. I not only know the Mind of God, but I feel the Presence of the Spirit. I arise and shine, for the Glory of God is within me, and Peace does fill my world.
I can accomplish my aims. The Holy Spirit is in my mind now. Divine Love floods my emotions. Glorious is my thinking and my experience. God is my all; no more can I seek.I followed it up with meditating on the 23rd Psalm until I drifted off to sleep and had an amazingly restful night's sleep. As for my mother, I suspect she did too as I don't remember hearing another peep out of her until this morning.
* Unlike his many of his New Thought contemporaries, Goddard didn't maintain an affiliation with any particular church. I mention it only because it was something that seemed important to him, based on his teachings, that his ideas not be affiliated with promoting the dogma of any particular church.
Thursday, May 18, 2017
A Magical Moment and A Promise Worth Keeping
"Know
that anytime we exercise our imagination lovingly on behalf of another,
we're actually and literally mediating God to man. So we can sit
quietly in the darkness and listen as though we heard the good report we
want to hear." - Neville Goddard
Every day I set about looking for at least one magical moment and one of today's moments is truly special.
I was browsing the Freeneville website to see if the site's creator, Mr. Twenty Twenty, or Neville Goddard offered any insight on channeled teachings, many of which I’m beginning to suspect are loads of BS and not to be fully believed or relied upon. The only article he has posted on the subject is in response to a woman named Theresa who’s mother was suffering from dementia in a way that is/was similar to the experience of my parents. She had asked his insight on whether it was okay to imagine her mother being healed or if she should accept her sickness as some new age teachings suggest because it may be the path by which her mother has chosen to exit this life. Mr. Twenty responded by offering the Neville Goddard quote noted at the beginning of this post, adding that by taking the time to imagine her mother at peace she was giving both of them a gift.
I actually posted a response to the article in September 2013, sharing my own story as follows:
I needed this magical moment today. So did my mom.
As for the movie quote referenced in my reply, according to Theresa there's a scene in which Jesus heals a blind man and then rebukes an observer for asking what if the man he just healed of blindness wanted to be blind: “the man lives in darkness and while I am on this earth he will see!”
My belief is that Jesus being fully aware of the power within him lived in such a state of perfect faith that sickness simply couldn't exist around him, nor could lack, in the same way that darkness can't exist in the place light is shone.
"He sent His word and healed them, And delivered them from their destructions." - Psalm 107:20
"We possess the same Spirit, the same power, the same authority; we don't use it, but we possess it." - My dad, Leon Don King, said in remarks given during a Christmas service held in 2006
"God give unto me the grace to accept the things I cannot change. And grant unto me the power to change the things I cannot accept!" - Richard Bartlett, author of "Matrix Energetics"
Every day I set about looking for at least one magical moment and one of today's moments is truly special.
I was browsing the Freeneville website to see if the site's creator, Mr. Twenty Twenty, or Neville Goddard offered any insight on channeled teachings, many of which I’m beginning to suspect are loads of BS and not to be fully believed or relied upon. The only article he has posted on the subject is in response to a woman named Theresa who’s mother was suffering from dementia in a way that is/was similar to the experience of my parents. She had asked his insight on whether it was okay to imagine her mother being healed or if she should accept her sickness as some new age teachings suggest because it may be the path by which her mother has chosen to exit this life. Mr. Twenty responded by offering the Neville Goddard quote noted at the beginning of this post, adding that by taking the time to imagine her mother at peace she was giving both of them a gift.
I actually posted a response to the article in September 2013, sharing my own story as follows:
Thank you so much Theresa for sharing your situation with your mom. I had been going through something very similar with my mom (and dad) where she went from being the most pleasant, jovial, sweetest, generous, peaceful and strong woman I know to someone I hardly recognized. Similar to your experience, the words that would come out of her mouth sometimes were hateful and foul. She's complaining and paranoid and the doctors, friends, my siblings kept saying this is something we just have to accept and deal with.My dad had only recently been "diagnosed" as having dementia when I posted the above. I may no longer be able to help him, although I gave it everything I could up until the very end. I clung to hope like a woman adrift in an ocean clings to a life preserver until the rescue ship comes. Even after I received initial word of his death, my inner being still chose to believe the words Jesus spoke at Lazarus’ tomb: “I am the resurrection and the life...” I will continue to believe for my mom: "He sent His word and healed them….”
I chose from the beginning, like you, not to accept this, but there were days when I thought I might cave. But, I can see in my mother’s eyes who she desires to be—peaceful, loving, calm, gentle, content, trusting—and I can see her looking for someone to help set her free. And there have been more moments recently where she is the person she wants to be.
Hearing your story and your belief “that it doesn’t have to be this way” and then reading Mr. Twenty Twenty’s response only strengthens my resolve that things don’t have to be the way the doctors say for “all things are possible.” I love the statement of Jesus you mentioned from the Greatest Story Ever Told movie. I think that pretty much sums up the attitude I want to have when I see sickness and lack around me.
Thank you Mr. Twenty Twenty for your teachings on Neville and your response to Theresa. You are helping so many people like us become the people we want to be by holding fast to our dreams for ourselves and those we love until they are fully realized.
I needed this magical moment today. So did my mom.
As for the movie quote referenced in my reply, according to Theresa there's a scene in which Jesus heals a blind man and then rebukes an observer for asking what if the man he just healed of blindness wanted to be blind: “the man lives in darkness and while I am on this earth he will see!”
My belief is that Jesus being fully aware of the power within him lived in such a state of perfect faith that sickness simply couldn't exist around him, nor could lack, in the same way that darkness can't exist in the place light is shone.
"He sent His word and healed them, And delivered them from their destructions." - Psalm 107:20
"We possess the same Spirit, the same power, the same authority; we don't use it, but we possess it." - My dad, Leon Don King, said in remarks given during a Christmas service held in 2006
"God give unto me the grace to accept the things I cannot change. And grant unto me the power to change the things I cannot accept!" - Richard Bartlett, author of "Matrix Energetics"
Monday, May 15, 2017
Even Self-Proclaimed Pollyannas Have Bad Days
There was a time not too long ago when it was rare that I would experience a really pissy, foul mood. You know the kind where you just want to ... scream, throw something, throw someone? You know?
During the past two years, I feel I've experienced such moments/days far more often than I would like. I could blame menopause, but I'm at least 6 or 7 years from that. Anyway, today is one of those days. I woke up in a foul mood and it went down hill from there. What do you know, this LOA stuff works! (She said sarcastically.)
As the day progressed, I decided to just give into the mood and indulge in something I haven't done in quite a while. After going through all the trouble to eat a healthy lunch—I tend to skip breakfast as I don't believe it's the most important of the day—for dinner, I binged on foods that I typically avoid like the plague: sodas and a cinnamon bun. I suppose I "cheated" myself a little on the muffin since I only had half. To add a little more danger to the mix, I threw in a few fries. Who needs salad?!
Just wanted to share to let you know that even Pollyanna's have bad days where we just want to pull the cover over our heads, or pig out on Haagen Dazs (I actually had Friendly's ice cream; no Haagen Dazs in the house), or curse the gods.
On an up note, I made certain to bless and thank all of my food for the comfort it provided.
Tomorrow's another day! Until then, enjoy this lovely video I found on YouTube. It was one of my favorite songs when I was a kid. Listening tonight made me cry into my ice cream.
During the past two years, I feel I've experienced such moments/days far more often than I would like. I could blame menopause, but I'm at least 6 or 7 years from that. Anyway, today is one of those days. I woke up in a foul mood and it went down hill from there. What do you know, this LOA stuff works! (She said sarcastically.)
As the day progressed, I decided to just give into the mood and indulge in something I haven't done in quite a while. After going through all the trouble to eat a healthy lunch—I tend to skip breakfast as I don't believe it's the most important of the day—for dinner, I binged on foods that I typically avoid like the plague: sodas and a cinnamon bun. I suppose I "cheated" myself a little on the muffin since I only had half. To add a little more danger to the mix, I threw in a few fries. Who needs salad?!
Just wanted to share to let you know that even Pollyanna's have bad days where we just want to pull the cover over our heads, or pig out on Haagen Dazs (I actually had Friendly's ice cream; no Haagen Dazs in the house), or curse the gods.
On an up note, I made certain to bless and thank all of my food for the comfort it provided.
Tomorrow's another day! Until then, enjoy this lovely video I found on YouTube. It was one of my favorite songs when I was a kid. Listening tonight made me cry into my ice cream.
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