Today I learned an important lesson about grace. Yesterday was my birthday and while I was and am grateful to be celebrating another year of life on this planet we call earth, I was feeling a bit down on myself. Just a few days ago I posted about how I am choosing to be my own best friend rather than my own worst enemy and avoid judging myself harshly for faults, real or imagined. Yet yesterday and today I spent a lot of time in a state of forgetfulness of my previous choice, berating myself for not being more successful as I define success and for not having accomplished all that I had hoped to at this stage of life. In fact, a moment ago I was curled up in bed feeling little motivation to do anything in the middle of a day. I was feeling as if my typical buoyant, over-achiever self had run off for parts unknown.
Based on what I’ve been learning about achieving success and deliberately creating a life you love, this is clearly not the way to accomplish either. Neither supposedly is wallowing in negative, low-vibe emotions and thoughts and I was experiencing plenty of those yesterday and today. So, imagine my surprise when in the middle of this negative spiraling, I received the much-needed financial break through I’d been praying for.
I mean, even though I had prayed and was hoping for a miracle, I was feeling desperate and panicked (more low-vibe emotions that are said to repel your good). All kinds of doubts had set in. The voices in my head were continually whispering to me “you’re screwed,” “it’s not going to happen,” “you are not going to get what you want,” “how can you expect to create anything good in this state?” “you know you don’t deserve it.” etc., etc. Yet...
The voices were wrong!! In spite of me, in spite of my mood, in spite of my doubts, I still received the miracle I had asked for. I am truly awed.
“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” 2 Corinthians 12:9
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