It is By Grace

Today I learned an important lesson about grace. Yesterday was my birthday and while I was and am grateful to be celebrating another year of life on this planet we call earth, I was feeling a bit down on myself. Just a few days ago I posted about how I am choosing to be my own best friend rather than my own worst enemy and avoid judging myself harshly for faults, real or imagined. Yet yesterday and today I spent a lot of time in a state of forgetfulness of my previous choice, berating myself for not being more successful as I define success and for not having accomplished all that I had hoped to at this stage of life. In fact, a moment ago I was curled up in bed feeling little motivation to do anything in the middle of a day. I was feeling as if my typical buoyant, over-achiever self had run off for parts unknown.

Based on what I’ve been learning about achieving success and deliberately creating a life you love, this is clearly not the way to accomplish either. Neither supposedly is wallowing in negative, low-vibe emotions and thoughts and I was experiencing plenty of those yesterday and today. So, imagine my surprise when in the middle of this negative spiraling, I received the much-needed financial break through I’d been praying for.

I mean, even though I had prayed and was hoping for a miracle, I was feeling desperate and panicked (more low-vibe emotions that are said to repel your good). All kinds of doubts had set in. The voices in my head were continually whispering to me “you’re screwed,” “it’s not going to happen,” “you are not going to get what you want,” “how can you expect to create anything good in this state?” “you know you don’t deserve it.” etc., etc. Yet...

The voices were wrong!! In spite of me, in spite of my mood, in spite of my doubts, I still received the miracle I had asked for. I am truly awed.

“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” 2 Corinthians 12:9

Finding Peace in the Midst of a "Storm"

Yesterday evening proved to be a challenging one with my mom who was not in one of her better moods. After attempting a few things to calm her and me, I threw up my hands and retired to (at least attempted to) the guest room. As I lie across the bed I tried again to meditate, and then pray for some peace. Still feeling exasperated, the best I could come up with was "Lord, help!", which I've heard through some spiritual and religious teachings is as effective a prayer as any.

Moments later I remembered a prayer I'd found on the Internet that had helped me through a similar situation a couple of years ago. So I decided to look for it again and found it!!!

It's attributed to the late Raymond Charles Barker, a Religious Science minister and contemporary of New Thought teachers Joseph Murphy, Ernest Holmes, and Neville Goddard,* whose teachings have inspired me.

It's such a beautiful prayer, I want to share it.

Glory Lives In My Heart

Warm is the love of the Eternal, and it glows within me, satisfying my soul. I am fed in all my depths of emotional need by this inner well of Compassion. The universe glows with kindliness. Everyone offers me the warmth of love and the joy of friendship. The Glory of God is upon me, and I rest in Its perfect action. This deep inner sense of well-being is now forever established within me.

The expanding Power of God is the joy of my soul. Every good increases, and every good feeling is accentuated. The Holy Spirit of Peace is upon me and resident in me. Glorious is my day, and my heart rejoices. This inner deep feeling of greatness now directs my thought. I not only know the Mind of God, but I feel the Presence of the Spirit. I arise and shine, for the Glory of God is within me, and Peace does fill my world.

I can accomplish my aims. The Holy Spirit is in my mind now. Divine Love floods my emotions. Glorious is my thinking and my experience. God is my all; no more can I seek.

I followed it up with meditating on the 23rd Psalm until I drifted off to sleep and had an amazingly restful night's sleep. As for my mother, I suspect she did too as I don't remember hearing another peep out of her until this morning.


* Unlike his many of his New Thought contemporaries, Goddard didn't maintain an affiliation with any particular church. I mention it only because it was something that seemed important to him, based on his teachings, that his ideas not be affiliated with promoting the dogma of any particular church.

Angels Watching Over Me—An Experiential Revelation of God's Promises

"For he shall give his angels charge over thee, to keep thee in all thy ways. They shall bear thee up in their hands, lest thou dash thy foot against a stone." - Psalms 91:11-12

Do you believe in angels? I do. I can recall having had a few angelic encounters in my lifetime. The first was a little more than 10 years ago, when my nephew was about 3 years old. Well, it was actually more his encounter, but I was with him when he kept insisting that there was someone waving and smiling at him from among the trees next to his grandparents home as we played on the porch. Overprotective aunt that I can sometimes be, I was at first extremely concerned that some stranger was hanging out in the bushes. So, I surveyed the area as carefully as was safe and saw no one, but I did notice a strange light coming from the area, and my nephew was certainly convinced someone was there.

Another encounter happened about two years ago, following the second surgery to remove my thyroid. Six people entered the operating room with me that day: my surgeon, the assisting surgeon, the anesthesiologist and her assistant, a nurse and an intern. A skeleton crew compared to the typical number of hospital personnel in an OR I was told. When I awoke about three hours later in the OR, I saw the previously mentioned six and about a dozen others standing around the room's perimeter as if keeping guard. Some might suppose it was the after effects of the anesthesia. Well, you can believe what you want, but something unusual happened to me in the OR that day that I suspect required divine intervention as I felt quite beaten up following and was taken to the cardiac wing to recover. (I was in much better condition after the first surgery!) Besides, I have Scripture to back me up. There's Psalm 91:11-12, which I quote at the beginning of this blog; Matthew 4:11; Hebrews 1:14; Hebrews 13:2; Revelation 7:11; and a host of others. Search it out for yourself.

Today, I had another angelic encounter and experienced first-hand how very literal God's promises are. It was about 12:30 when I headed out the front entry of my office building to walk across campus to visit my sister in her new office. I proceeded down the beautiful stone steps that grace the entry of my office building, and my mind becomes quickly preoccupied with the unexpected, but absolutely gorgeous, spring like weather (If you live in the northern U.S., you can appreciate what a treat a day like today is this time of year!). I'm practically ready to break out in song (really!) when the sole or heel of my boot gets caught in my pants leg and I start to tumble down the stone steps at an angle and head first. And there is nothing within reach for me to even try to grab onto to break the fall.

My first thought is... do I even have to say? What is one most likely thinking while falling down stone steps, head first? My next thought is "please God, don't let me hit my head." But before I can even scream for help, it felt as if someone slipped their hand under my right shoulder, lifted and turned me lengthwise onto the step. I immediately stopped falling. I didn't hit my head, and miraculously nothing was twisted, broken or sprained. In fact, the only injury I suffered (other than hurt feelings) was a skinned pinky. And as I looked around trying to make sense of what had just happened, I quickly realized that even if I had screamed for help, there was no human around to hear me. Within a few moments, I'm up on my feet as though I hadn't even fallen, and I continue walking to my sister's office.

After I arrived home tonight, I checked myself out again. Other than some mild soreness around my knee, there's no bruising and no swelling anywhere. Turns out, God literally does mean what He says about sending His angels to watch over His children. "If you stumble, [his angels will] catch you; their job is to keep you from falling." (Psalm 91:12 - The Message)

Of course, I will be more mindful when walking down or up stairs, but I feel eternally grateful and secure knowing that wherever I go, whatever I do, angels are watching over me. Thank you Lord for angels!! Thank you angels for keeping watch.

Never Give Up

My first post of 2013! I have waited and waited patiently since January 1 for the inspiration for my first post of this year. Today, I found it (or it found me).

All things truly are possible!! And watching Mr. Putra share his story gives me courage to share mine (especially as testimony that I have personal experience with miracles). 

In 2007, I suffered a mild stroke and lost the use of my entire right side. The diagnosis by the ER doctors completely confounded me and them as I wasn't anywhere near "stroke age." As my doctors discussed treatment options with me, they tried to be encouraging, but were also very careful to not get my hopes up by letting me know that I might not regain full use of my right side. Being very independent, almost defiantly so, this wasn't something I was willing to accept. (It was, however, a wake up call to my learning to take better care of myself.) Although my doctors and physical therapist were anticipating that I would spend at least 16 weeks in rehab, I pretty much back to normal after only 9 weeks of rehab.

I remember those first few weeks were tough. It seemed I couldn't do any of the things I was being asked. I remember breaking down in heaving sobs one night while at home because I couldn't open a jar of peanut butter (did I mention, I'm right-handed.) Still, I was determined. And my experience in rehab actually turned out to be one of the best things for me. Prior to the stroke, I had been "threatening" to return to the gym and start a regular exercise program. I even made a few half-hearted attempts, but just wasn't feeling up to the task. Forced to work out twice a week with a physical therapist to regain the use of my right side and my independence, I discovered that I'm far more capable than I realized of accomplishing anything by sheer force of will and faith. And within two months of completing rehab, I did join a gym. 

Two years later and 100 pounds lighter (that's another story entirely as I dropped 80 of those pounds in 8 months), I danced in my first Freestyles ballroom competition and a few months after that, my first Showcase (which earned me a new nickname—"Rumba eyes"). It felt like a dream come true and my instructor had no idea the gift he'd given me. I was a living, walking, dancing miracle. Nearly six years later, I show no signs of ever having had a stroke (even my last CT scan showed no evidence of scarring), have now been dancing for about four years, and still look pretty fierce (just ask my friends!).

Whatever your hopes, whatever your dreams—no matter what anyone has told you, no matter what you have told yourself.... NEVER GIVE UP! 

Life is beautiful.