The Power of Intentions

Intentions are powerful. I realized earlier this week that I’ve been very lax in setting intentions for my day. As a result, I’ve felt like I’m on a ship drifting directionless in the ocean. I'm doing a bunch of stuff, yet I don’t seem to be getting anywhere. So, I’ve recommitted myself to get back into creating my day daily and recording my successes to build faith and trust in the power residing in this earthen vessel.

Today was a prime example. About a week ago I had thought it might be nice to again visit my dad’s grave site at Quantico on today—it was a year ago today that he died—however, I wasn’t sure whether I was up to it or how I might get there. To be honest, I’ve been a bit emotional in the days leading up to Christmas and today even, remembering and still not fully able to make sense of what happened a year ago.

When my younger sister mentioned over the weekend that she was thinking of going and that my older sister wanted to as well, I decided to make my "it might be nice to..." a "yes, I want to do this." I then thought it would be nice to make it a family outing of sorts, including my brother, so mentioned it to him and my sister-in-law, hoping we could make it work. Weather was a factor as snow was predicted. Another seeming challenge was how to make the hour drive easy for my older sister, yet I held fast to my intent/desire to go.

The transportation issue was solved when I realized that my older sister’s van was plenty big enough for all of us to ride in comfort, and I could drive. As for the weather, I received a message last night from my younger sister that the snow had kindly decided to wait until after midnight tonight, if it appears at all.

I awoke this morning not feeling my best and for a brief moment thought I might not be  able to make the trip. But remembering I had set my intention, I remained confident it would work out. I had a chat with my body wherein I expressed how I wanted it to feel, and then went  back to bed for another hour. I awoke feeling fine, just as my sister had arrived. I showered and dressed. Happily when I asked my brother about going, he said “yes.” So, off we went to Quantico with me driving my sister’s van.

It was the perfect moment: the four of us standing at our dad’s grave site, which had already been decorated with a fresh pine Christmas wreath. It was a beautiful and sobering site. My sister laid the silk flowers I’d provided and an American flag on the headstone. She and my brother took pictures while each of us took notice of the other soldiers' headstones all adorned with wreaths, and some with flags, flowers and other items of affection left by their loved ones. And each of us in our own way reminisced about our dad and the day, a year ago, we said goodbye to him.

The drive down and back gave us the opportunity to bond—we laughed and talked about our dad, our mom and an assortment of other things as well as expressed our frustration, anger, and confusion in dealing with some of the hospital and rehab staff and paid caregivers who provided care to our dad during the last six months of his life. It was very healing for me and for the first time I feel ready to move beyond it and get back to living the amazing life I know my dad would want for me.

I have every intention of doing just that as I believe that I deserve an amazing happy life. It is the birthright of every person born into this earth.

“Is anything too hard for God?” has become my daily meditation as there are some situations in my life that feel challenging, yet I, the real I, knows that there is nothing too hard or too wonderful for God to accomplish. In those moments when I feel myself letting go of my intention for an amazing, rich and wonderful life, I remind myself that the same God, Infinite Spirit who created the universe and all that is in it and has for millennia after millennia kept the planets, sun and stars in perfect alignment as they circle around in space is surely more than capable of managing my itty bitty situations (no matter how monumental they might appear to me). To believe otherwise is insulting and rather ridiculous if you seriously think about it.

I may never know why my dad’s life ended when it did—years before he had expressed that he’d wanted it to—yet I believe the possibility for him to have lived as long as he desired and the possibility for him to have been healed of dementia existed and still exists. As my father often sang, “Jesus [the Christ in us] never fails.”

Intentions are powerful when you are willing to believe that anything is possible and, like the woman who approached Jesus for healing for her daughter, refuse to take “no” for an answer.

---

Truly I tell you, if anyone says to this mountain, ‘Go, throw yourself into the sea,’ and does not doubt in their heart but believes that what they say will happen, it will be done for them. Mark 11:23

Can Your Faith Fail?

This is the title of a book by Charles Capps that I spied atop my parents' file cabinet this evening while stopping by for a visit. I thought it a very curious and intriguing book title, considering all that I've been going through for the past few years. I intended to bring it home with me to read in the hopes of gaining some insight on my own faith.

As I sat in my room pondering the book's title and asking all the questions one asks when you don't see immediate responses to your prayers, insight came.

Can your faith fail? No, never. Whether you're believing in good or evil, expecting a favorable outcome or an unfavorable outcome, your faith always work. Be it unto you according as you have believed.

Not the End of the World—Just the Beginning

It's 12:01 a.m., Saturday, December 22, 2012, and the earth and it's 7 billion plus inhabitants are still thriving (more or less). And, while the world didn't end as all the conspiracy theorists and doomsday forecasters predicted, I do believe it has changed. Perhaps we've moved into the new heaven and new earth that Peter spoke about? (See 2 Peter 3:13)

In any event, now that you've survived the "end," how do you intend to live the rest of your life?

Only you can decide: Fear or hope? Love or hate?

As so perfectly stated by Lionel Richie and the Commodores, "This. Is. Your life!"  Watch video

(Thanks to 4eva68 and the Commodores for the video.)

The Victory that Overcomes Evil

The attack on innocent children a few days ago in Connecticut, and earlier at a school in China, still have me reeling, trying to understand it all, as if that were even possible. But tonight, I read a powerful message by Gregory Dickow, one of the ministers that I follow, which helped me gain some amazing insight. (It also reminded me that I can see much more clearly with my spiritual eyes.)

I had to share it with you: http://powertochangeblog.com/2012/12/massacre-of-the-innocents-from-tragedy-to-destiny/

Also, if you enjoy reading this blog, please let me know. I certainly enjoy writing these posts, but would love to hear from you.

"...and this is the victory that overcometh the world, even our faith." - 1 John 5:4

Seize Each Moment

Life changes in an instant. What is true one moment does not have to be true in the next, unless you make it so. Use this knowledge to your advantage—choose to relentlessly pursue your dream in each moment. Refuse to give up. Refuse to be defeated. Refuse to take no for an answer. And most of all, refuse to let what you see with your eyes determine what you believe. Rather, let the good that you believe determine what you see.

Meditate on these things...

"...because having the power of seeing, they do not see; and having the power of hearing, they do not hear, nor do they grasp and understand." - Matthew 13:3 (AMP)

"...blessed are they that have not seen, and yet have believed." - John 20:29

"And being not weak in faith, [Abraham] considered not his own body now dead, when he was about an hundred years old, neither yet the deadness of Sarah's womb: he staggered not at the promise of God through unbelief; but was strong in faith, giving glory to God; and being fully persuaded that, what He had promised, He was able also to perform." - Romans 4:19-20

"While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal." - 2 Corinthians 4:18

"Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." - Hebrews 11:1

Meditation #5—Firmly Planted

"We had to learn to bend without the world caving in…"

I Won't Give Up by Jason Mraz, © 2012

When situations in life don't go as planned, when breakthroughs don't come exactly when you hoped, when it seems for every step forward you take three back, when all hell appears to be breaking loose around you, where is your faith? In what, in whom is your trust?

Blessed is the man that trusteth in the Lord, and whose hope the Lord is. For he shall be as a tree planted by the waters, and that spreadeth out her roots by the river, and shall not see when heat cometh, but her leaf shall be green; and shall not be careful in the year of drought, neither shall cease from yielding fruit.  - Jeremiah 17:7-8

Though storms rise and tumultuous winds blow that seem to threaten to toss earth itself off its axis, I may bend, I may even bow down, but I will not break. My foundation is sure. I am that tree that is firmly planted by the waters, and the Spirit of God is the river.

Butterflies Are Free

This is not the actual butterfly that I saw.

Something truly amazing happened to me today. I feel that I say that a lot in my posts, and those of you who are reading my blog may be starting to wonder if I live in the real world. Let me assure you, I do! But honestly, something extraordinary did happen to me today, and it actually began about three weeks ago.

Each day, if the weather permits, I go out around lunch to take a walk or sit on the bench in the garden near my office. About three weeks ago, as I was sitting there eating and reading, a beautiful sapphire blue, brown and gold butterfly alighted on the bench, right next to me. I see butterflies in the garden all the time, but the fact that this one just touched down right by me and hung out for a quite a bit felt like a message from God to me! I'd been having a bad day that day and was quite anxious about a few things, yet when I saw that butterfly, my entire focus and mood completely shifted. Awed by his beauty and appreciative of his company, a sense of calm and happiness came over me.

Just at the moment where I thought to reach for my phone to take a picture, he flew away. Well, for weeks I kept hoping, praying he returned because he (or she) was really quite extraordinary looking and I wanted to get another chance to take a picture. Each day, I'd go out at lunch (except when it was raining) looking and expecting to see this butterfly despite the fact that my rational mind told me he was likely thousands of miles away—I've read that some butterflies can migrate over 3,000 miles—and the chances of his reappearing were nearly zero to none. Fortunately, my inner child doesn't easily accept such odds, so she kept looking.

Today, I stepped out of the office for a break to clear my head and decided to take a walk to the garden. It was a little too cool to sit outside, so I quickly started back to the office when I saw... my butterfly! Blue, brown, gold and beautiful, flying among the flowers of which there were only a few remaining. It couldn't possibly, or could it? Just to make sure, I watched for awhile waiting for him to land on a flower, and then tip-toed over to him to get a closer look. Same size, same color and pattern. If it wasn't him, it was most certainly his twin! And even if it wasn't, I've read that sightings of blue butterflies are rare. To see two just a few weeks apart is still a miracle to me.

Extraordinarily wonderful, even seemingly impossible, things do happen... to those who expect it. What are you expecting?

You Have What You Say

"For assuredly, I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, ‘Be removed and be cast into the sea,’ and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that those things he says will be done, he will have whatever he says." - Mark 11:23 (NKJV)

For several months now I've been contemplating the power of my thoughts and my words and I have been taking care to watch both what I think and what I say—for you are snared by the words of your own mouth saith Solomon (Proverbs 6:2; And who would know better than Solomon). It's been quite a challenge as my logical mind is accustomed as most logical minds are to dwelling on or reciting the so-called facts of a situation. But real faith, God's kind of faith, calls those things that be not as though they are. Real faith, God's kind of faith, understands that things which are now seen are temporary, ever-changing, and came about from things that are unseen, yet eternal and everlasting. Real faith, God's kind of faith, knows that so-called facts are subject to change, truth on the other of hands, never does. And the truth is that God watches over His word to perform it, so that anything He has promised will come to pass if we will only with our words come into agreement with Him.

In talking with His disciples, Jesus made this bold statement: the words that I speak unto you, they are spirit, and they are life. (John 6:63) Because we are created in His image and likeness, the words that we speak are also spirit and life. In fact, whether we choose to believe it or not—we hold the power of life and death in our often carelessly used tongues (Proverbs 18:21).

Consider this the next time you're tempted to complain about how bad your life, job, health, relationship, the economy, the weather, or whatever is. That which we meditate on in word or thought, we draw to us. So, rather than state the seemingly obvious, call forth the good that you want to see. As Joel Osteen writes in his new book, I Declare: "Don't use your words to describe the situation. Use your words to change the situation."

You have what you say, so say something good. Better yet, say something wondrous.

******
Musical theater geek that I am, here's a little song inspiration from one of my favorite musicals:  Everything's Coming Up Roses.

The Glad Game

Calling all Pollyannas. Are you willing to play a game with me this week? Since it's Olympic season, now's the perfect time for it. Anyone who is willing is eligible to play, and everyone who plays, wins.

As I was meditating yesterday, it occurred to me that the best way to have more joy in my life and, hence, open the door for more good things to happen is to complain less, be glad more. Then I got the bright idea that I should test out my theory—social scientist that I am—by trying for an entire week to not complain or say anything negative, beginning today. In fact, I could take it a step further by finding something positive to say even about a problem I'm having. Admittedly this will be a challenge, but as with most things, I believe it will work best if I approach it one day at a time. So, are you game?

Are you willing to give up complaining for just one day? No griping. No whining. No ranting. No bemoaning how hard times are, or how dishonest this or that politician is. No negative talk about coworkers or bosses. No moping about long check-out lines or heavy traffic or the price of gas. For one day, just be glad being alive and take in all the beauty, love and inspiration that's around you and that you might have overlooked before while you were busy complaining.

Again, for the sake of full disclosure, I admit this isn't going to be easy. We live in an imperfect world and bad things, tragic things, happen almost daily it seems. And with instant messaging, Twitter and smart phones, tragic news is spread worldwide within minutes. Yet surprisingly, even in the midst of tragedy there are gifts, bright spots, to be found. I don't always see them as I'm sure others don't for we see "through a glass darkly," but I have to believe the gifts are there. Faith sees the good even in the most dire of situations. Jesus explained this principle best when He told His disciples (and us):

"In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world." - John 16:33

So, if you wake up with a headache, just be glad you woke up. If traffic is heavy on the way to work, just be glad you have a job and a car that you can drive to work. Line at the Starbucks too long? Get excited that you have money to by $4.00 coffee. Just give it a try for an hour, two hours, a day, or maybe even the whole week.

I'm looking forward to a beautiful week. I'll let you know how it turns out.

"In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you." - 1 Thessalonians 5:18

Childlike Faith

"If you believe within your heart you'll know
That no one can change the path that you must go
Believe what you feel and know you're right, because
The time will come around when you say it's yours"

If You Believe by Charlie Small, performed in The Wiz
©1974 Warner-Tamerlane Publishing Corp.

Sometimes I think Christians, myself included, are just too spiritual for their own good, which is why we fail to see the wondrous works in this day that the disciples—Peter, James and John et al.—were able to see and accomplish: water being changed into wine; five loaves and two fish feeding a multitude of 5,000 men plus women and children; healing of the blind, lame and deaf; and let's not forget Lazarus. Admittedly, the disciples were also blown away by these things, even when they were themselves able to do them.

Disciples: Master, even the demons danced to your tune!
Jesus: I know. [The Message, Luke 10:17-18]

By the book of Acts, however, they'd gotten over it. They were as unfazed as Jesus was—the miraculous was normal to them, like breathing.

I don't know why, but Christians today simply cannot grasp that when Jesus spoke of mustard seed faith moving mountains, he was speaking of actual mountains being moved—as well as emotional or psychological mountains/stumbling blocks—in the same that way a fig tree withered and died at His spoken word. And in the same way the huge stone fortress surrounding Jericho crumbled to dust at the exuberant praises of the Israelites and before that a sea became dry land before Moses' rod. (It's my favorite scene in the Ten Commandments, although I imagine I'm going to be just a bit disappointed to discover that Moses looks nothing like Charlton Heston.)

As God continues to deal with my thoughts and opening my eyes to limitless possibilities, I'm discovering that there are a vast many things about this universe and God Himself that simply defy reason and understanding. To experience the wonders that Peter, James and John did, requires a childlike faith to see what can't be seen, hear what can't be heard, and believe what absolutely seems impossible.

"Jesus said unto him, If thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that believeth." - Mark 9:23

Meditation #4—He Puts My Tears in a Bottle

"Be merciful unto me, O God: for man would swallow me up;

he fighting daily oppresseth me. Mine enemies would daily swallow me up:

for they be many that fight against me, O thou most High.

...Thou tellest my wanderings: put thou my tears into thy bottle:

are they not in thy book?

When I cry unto thee, then shall mine enemies turn back:

this I know; for God is for me.

In God will I praise his word: in the Lord will I praise his word." - Psalm 56:1-2; 8-10

I love my God. No tear of mine goes unnoticed; he captures each in a bottle. No cry goes unheard; he hastens to deliver me. He gives attention to everything about me and my life as I am always on His mind. When the enemy comes against me, it is the Lord Most High who fights my battles so that I can walk in the abundance of peace and joy that He promises to all His beloved. He rejoices over me with singing and I am soon comforted.

Thank you Jesus for your grace. Thank you for your love.

Instrument of Peace

If you want to change the world, you must begin with yourself. That's what I've been learning this month. It is very easy to complain about a matter, but quite another to do something about it. Sometimes, just a simple adjustment in attitude or perspective is all that's required to turn a bad situation around and open the door to all the beauty and joy life offers.

Almost every morning when I was in high school, my classmates and I recited the following Prayer of Saint Francis as a reminder that within each of us is the power to change our world. Any person whose heart is yielded in love to God can be used by Him to make a difference.

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love.
Where there is injury, pardon.
Where there is doubt, faith.
Where there is despair, hope.
Where there is darkness, light.
Where there is sadness, joy.
O Divine Master,
grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled, as to console;
to be understood, as to understand
to be loved, as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive.
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
and it is in dying that we are born to Eternal Life.
Amen.

Buy a cup of coffee for that surly co-worker. Offer to pick up groceries for your elderly neighbor. Exercise patience with that hard-to-please customer. Share your lunch with the homeless guy outside your office. Let the other driver have that prime parking space that you saw first. Check up on a friend whose been MIA. Choose to walk in love. Choose to walk in forgiveness. Choose to live in hope. Choose to believe in the impossible. And watch the world around you transform.

Mustard Seed Faith

"... for verily I say unto you, If ye have faith as a grain
of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain,
Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove;
and nothing shall be impossible unto you." – Matthew 17:20

The thing I'm most grateful for today...visiting my parents. For convenience, we have their groceries delivered to their home; however, since neither of my parents is particularly keen about letting strangers into their home, my sister usually arranges to be there when the groceries arrive. Today, I was blessed to be able to do it.

When I arrived, my mother was curled up in a fetal position in bed and groaning about her ear. For just a moment, I started to become anxious. But then I remembered that God loves her and faith as a mustard seed in His love for her—and for me—is all that's needed for His grace to flow and bring healing. So, I took hold of my mother's hands and prayed with her. Nothing fancy—just a basic confession of our faith in God's Word, His power to heal and His abundant love for us. I even encouraged my mother to speak out of her faith instead of her fear. (You have to speak out because faith comes by hearing.) Slowly at first, then quite fervently she began to speak. After a few minutes, she sat up and started asking me her usual series of questions. And just a couple of hours later as I was preparing to leave, my mother was not only up, she had come downstairs to get herself something to eat. Of course, she went for the Hersheys first (because she knows, as do most women, that chocolate has medicinal benefits!).

It's amazing what God can do when we exercise just a little faith.

Stumbling in the Dark

"Wherein ye greatly rejoice, though now for a season,

if need be, ye are in heaviness through manifold temptations:

That the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold

that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise

and honour and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ..."

–1 Peter 1:6-8

When I began this blog several months ago, I made a conscious decision to be as transparent as I could be about my spiritual journey—sharing my current experiences and even past ones—in the hope that I might encourage others. Even in the face of the most difficult challenges, I've always believed that it helps to at least try to maintain a positive, hopeful outlook—to believe that somehow God is going to come through and it will all work out. However, lest you be deceived into believing that I find living by faith easy, a continual joy fest, I am compelled to share that it isn't. 

There have been moments, many of them, where everything in my life seemed to go wrong all at once, and despite my best efforts, every decision I made seemed to make the problems worse not better. I have felt at times like I was stumbling through life in the dark—not knowing whether to go left or right or to just stand still—and the still, small voice of God that I desperately longed to and needed to hear, if for no other reason than reassurance, was strangely silent. I wish I could say that during such moments I manage to remain at peace and full of faith, and that I don't get anxious or depressed and cry like a baby. That I'm not overcome with fear. That I don't struggle to resist the seemingly endless stream of negative thoughts: "give up," "God has forgotten you," "you're on your own," "nobody cares," "you can't do this," etc. That I don't doubt or question God's love and His goodness toward me. I wish I could say these things, but I can't.

As someone who likes to be able to see where she's going and have all the answers up front, learning to trust a God who doesn't always show His hand is tough. Some days it seems downright impossible, and there have been times where I've totally blown it.

Thank God for friends who come along to remind me of what I already know in the inner most part of my being: that God is good, that He is faithful and He is totally trustworthy. Regardless of how I may feel about Him from one moment to the next, I know His love for me remains constant. There is nothing that I can do, nothing that I can say, that will make Him stop loving me. He's given me His Word on it and that Word is forever settled in heaven and earth. I also have God's Word that because He loves me, He will always provide the help that I need. 

Difficult as they are, the moments where I'm stumbling in the dark allow me the opportunity to learn to fully trust God. Sometimes, He brings us to the end of our own wisdom, knowledge and plans to save ourselves, so that we'll cry out to Him and no one else but Him. I wish it were easier; I wish that I could always see clearly the path in front of me. But who needs faith for what they can already see? It's in the darkness that we grow in faith and God gets to show Himself to be God.

I Am Grateful

I am grateful, Lord, for all you've done for me.

I am grateful, Lord, even though I cannot see

all the things you have in store for me

or all that I will be.

I am grateful, Lord, for all you've done for me.

When I was tired, you were my strength.

When I was down, you were my joy.

When I was sick, you healed my body and my soul.

I am so grateful, Lord, for all you've done for me.

Lord, I Am Grateful by Donna Denise K © 2012

One Year Ago Today—Celebrating God's Goodness

"How do I say thanks for the things You have done for me?

Things so undeserved, yet you gave to prove your love for me.

The voices of a million angels cannot express my gratitude.

All that I am and ever hope to be

I owe it all to thee."

My Tribute by Andraé Crouch © 1971

One year ago today, I had just returned home from Holy Cross Hospital to begin recovering from what would become the first of two surgeries to remove my thyroid. I remember the days that followed. I remember the pain shooting through my throat. I remember the anxiety. I remember wondering if I would ever sing again or speak above a whisper. I remember hearing the word "cancer." I remember the first time I saw the scar. 

This evening, I was at Nationals Park with my sister for America's Night of Hope sponsored by Joel Osteen Ministries. What a perfect way to celebrate God's awesomeness! The scar is nearly invisible. I can still sing and speak above a whisper. And the cancer is gone. 

I'm truly grateful for this year. Everyday that I open my eyes to see the sun (or even the clouds) peeking through my window is a gift. Have I used each gift as well as I could have? No, but God is gracious and patient. Has the year been without challenges, disappointments and heartaches? No, but God has been with me at every moment to keep me from falling. Have I seized every opportunity presented to me? No, but God has granted me many blessings and wonderful surprises anyway. And He isn't through with me yet.

As Joel Osteen said tonight, each morning I awake is evidence that God still has a destiny for me to fulfill—and it is He who will propel me into it.

Taking Refuge In His Wings

"He shall cover you with His feathers,
And under His wings you shall take refuge;
His truth shall be your shield and buckler."

- Psalm 91:4

My spirit is always full of joy, hope and peace, even when my heart is overwhelmed or cast down within me. God already knew this about me. So now do I.

I've been reminiscing today about Easter Sunday's service. The church that I attend held this year's service at a local hotel to accommodate the C&E attenders (the people you only see at Christmas and Easter), as well as a live radio broadcast. The service was lovely and exactly what I needed—albeit a bit unusual since it had to be restructured for the radio broadcast. But as in all matters of faith, you learn to flow with it.

The choir decided to break out some new songs, two of which really touched my heart. If you've never heard of Lydia Stanley's "Shadow of Your Wings," I highly recommend it. I'll even help you: View live performance

I cannot begin to describe the intensity of emotions that I felt as this song resonated in my spirit. It was as if God was using it to heal every wound and remove every fear in me. It has become my meditation day and night. I fall asleep listening to it and wake up with it on my lips. The other night I had it playing while trying to do my laundry and was so completely overtaken by God's presence I couldn't do anything but worship Him. Afterwards, I felt energy that I hadn't felt in months.

The cares of this world are many, and oftentimes they scream at me, at all of us, for attention. When the pressures of life build—responsibilities at work, caring for my parents, doing chores, helping friends and assorted neighbors, or even attending to church affairs—Jesus is my refuge. And when life feels like a breeze, I can still rest in Him. He reminded me this week how very restoring to my soul and body that can be.

What was the other song? "Our God is Awesome." I haven't found the version that was sung on Easter and only sermons are recorded for Sunday services. I'll keep looking and keep you posted.

He Is Risen!

"Why do you seek the living among the dead? He is not here, but is risen!" - Luke 24:5-6 (NKJV)

Three little words filled with so much hope, so much promise.

Jesus lives. Not even death could overtake Him. He arose from the grave and sits forever at the right hand of the Father, full of power—power to heal, power to save, power to resurrect all the dead things in my life.

My redeemer lives and abides with me daily. In Him, each day offers the possibility to begin anew. And through Him I can face any obstacle, manage any setback, or overcome any challenge in life. In Him is my hope. In Him is my faith. In Him is my life.

Most beautiful, humble king. Powerful. Holy. Glorious. You died to free me from the curse; you rose so that I might live an abundant life in you.

Happy Resurrection Sunday!

"I am he that liveth, and was dead; and, behold, I am alive for evermore, Amen; and have the keys of hell and of death." - Revelation 1:18

Laughter More Precious than Diamonds

Today is my mother's birthday, something for which I'm truly grateful.

I had been planning since the weekend what I could do to make it feel special for her. I haven't been able to coax her out of the house since Thanksgiving (although I felt like I came close a few times), so dinner at a nice restaurant was out, at least for now. After much thought, I decided I'd spend the evening with her watching one of her favorite movies, "Bye, Bye Birdie."

We actually did this over the weekend and she really enjoyed it (different movie). Well... you know what they say about the best laid plans of mice and men...

I picked up a card and gift for her on yesterday, came home wrapped it up and then went looking through my DVD collection for the movie—which I'm 99 percent sure I own (it's also one of my favorites)—but couldn't find it, anywhere. Undaunted, I stopped by Target after work thinking I could pick up another copy. They used to have a $5.00 DVD section filled with really old movies. Not anymore. (I did see a few potentially worthy substitutes, but decided to pass.) I was a bit disappointed. She really does like this movie, and more importantly, it makes her laugh.

Before her still mysterious health problems emerged, my mother laughed quite often, at least it seemed that way. She'd turn on her favorite comedy program, or ask one of us to pop in a funny DVD for her, just so she could enjoy a good laugh. Sometimes she'd ask for the great grandkids to make a visit so she could enjoy laughing with them (they enjoyed laughing with grandma, before the moody teen years hit!).

My mother liked to laugh; she said it was good medicine. She had Scripture to back it up (Proverbs 17:22). In fact, while I was growing up—especially during my moody teen years—and since I've been an adult, whenever I was going through a rough spell, she'd quote that Scripture to me often in addition to singing me songs about laughing or smiling. I must know two dozen or so such songs now (I may start using them on the moody teenagers).

Things have been a bit different the past couple of years and there's been a lot less laughter. I do understand. But I miss my mother's laugh—we all do. And when we do hear one, or see even the slightest hint of a smile, it seems more precious than diamonds.

I suppose that's all I really wanted to give my mother for her birthday: the gift of laughter. It's good medicine. With no DVD to rely on, I walked into my parents' house, smiled my biggest, cheesiest smile, and sang "Happy Birthday" to my mother as loud as I could. Then I just waited... She looked at me strangely for a moment, and then... she laughed!

Thank you, God!

And the Lessons Continue

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God."

- Philippians 4:6 (NIV)

March must be the month of learning for me. Well, every month, every day in fact, is an opportunity for me to learn something. Tonight I learned that walking by faith is a minute-by-minute choice. And there are some minutes when things can get a bit hairy.

Without revealing too much detail about my sisters who read (or I at least hope read) my blog, I'll share the basics of lesson-filled evening. While I was meditating, I received a phone call from my older sister asking if I had heard from the younger one. I hadn't, which isn't that unusual—we're over 21; we're over 31 even (and I'll stop there)—so we don't feel the need to check in with each other everyday. Well, my older sister was extremely concerned as several phone calls to the younger one had gone unanswered and unreturned, and it was getting pretty late.

My first instinct… I'm sure she's okay. She's either turned her phone off, or the battery has run down, or she's not somewhere she can immediately answer it. There are any number of reasonable explanations. Right? Absolutely! I offer to call her house phone to double check. She doesn't answer. Now, here's where my faith test began.

I decide to just drive by her house—we practically live next door. I do this partly because I'm a bit concerned and partly because I want to ease my older sister's fears by personally confirming the younger one is safe. She isn't home. Not a huge deal, yet. It is very late, but she is over 21.

Enter the parents, who insisted that my younger sister had left their house very early evening and was headed straight home. My older sister is pretty frantic; I can feel my heart in my throat. One minute I'm certain she's just hanging out (it was a nice evening for it), the next… "Let not your heart be troubled. Let not your heart be troubled. Let not your heart…"

What to do? What. To. Do. Police? They need 24 hours. Hospitals? Okay, but which ones. From woman of faith to overprotective and anxious big sister mode in 60 seconds? "Let not your heart… Let not your heart… Let not…." I leave her a note: Call when you get in.

Adding fuel to my anxiety were three back-to-back phone calls I received around 7ish on my home phone (which almost no one calls except telemarketers, mis-dialers and people I generally don't want to talk to anyway). With Caller ID broken and voice mail full, I have no idea who the calls came from and my mind begins to go places it really shouldn't. And why didn't I just answer the phone, you ask. Because I was (a) in the middle of something and (b) see what's written in the parenthesis above.

My older sister calls back; my parents call, multiple times. Have I tracked her down yet? "Not yet," trying to stay calm. "Let not your heart…" "Let not…" Could you go over there? "Okay." No need to mention I've already done this. "I'm sure she's okay. Her angel is on guard."

To my sister's house I go, again. Before I can even knock on the door, she opens it just a bit exasperated. (No, she isn't psychic—the motion sensor called me out.) Seems she did get all the phone calls from my sister, from me and even from my parents. I am immensely happy and relieved to see her, albeit deeply embarrassed. I give her a hug and apologize profusely. I maybe even promised her dinner for showing up at her front door unannounced in the middle of the night. We talk for a bit; I head home.

"Let not your heart be troubled." "Let not your heart be troubled.'' "Let not…" The learning continues. So does the transformation—minute by minute by minute by minute.

I really should get a new house phone with a functioning Caller ID.