Blessings Are Mine

Sometimes God uses rather unconventional means, at least by pharisees' standards, to speak to me. I realize this shouldn't surprise me at all given the fact that He once used a donkey to convey a message to a prophet. And yet, He really does surprise me with some of the ways He'll let me know He hears and sees—a random Internet search, a church billboard, a soap opera, strangers on the street. Whatever works.

However the messages are transmitted, they provide exactly what I need—encouragement, motivation or a kick in the pants—precisely when I need it. For this, I'm very grateful. I particularly appreciated getting today's perfectly timed message amid what has been a challenging and sometimes heartbreaking few weeks. An email that I almost didn't read because I just wasn't in the mood led me to a page with the following on a Post-it note like graphic:

There's about to be a shift in your life. Get ready for your Blessings! You've been through enough and breakthrough is on the way. Don't doubt it; just claim it.

For over a week, I've been praying for a major change in certain areas of my life. And just a few days ago I decided I wanted to walk in all of God's promises. This morning I woke up asking not only for strength, but also to experience who I am in Him. He sees and He hears.

So, I say "Yes, Jesus. Blessings are mine! Bring it on!"

The Victory that Overcomes Evil

The attack on innocent children a few days ago in Connecticut, and earlier at a school in China, still have me reeling, trying to understand it all, as if that were even possible. But tonight, I read a powerful message by Gregory Dickow, one of the ministers that I follow, which helped me gain some amazing insight. (It also reminded me that I can see much more clearly with my spiritual eyes.)

I had to share it with you: http://powertochangeblog.com/2012/12/massacre-of-the-innocents-from-tragedy-to-destiny/

Also, if you enjoy reading this blog, please let me know. I certainly enjoy writing these posts, but would love to hear from you.

"...and this is the victory that overcometh the world, even our faith." - 1 John 5:4

Renewed Strength. Renewed Hope.

As the last month of the year unfolds and we prepare for the celebration of Christmas and the start of a new year, I find myself reflecting over the whirlwind that was 2012. It was a year filled with many good moments, and yet more than a few disappointments and setbacks. To be honest, as I look back over this year, I feel like I've been through both the fire and the flood. Wilderness seasons are tough! By God's grace, I'm still standing—weakened and a bit weary, perhaps, but still standing.

Along the route I sometimes travel from my parents home to mine, I pass by a church that like most has a sign with the week's message/sermon topic. For the past few weeks, the following message has been posted:

"But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint." - Isaiah 40:31

I would like to say that I was immediately comforted by this message. I wasn't. But after some time, some pondering... Renewed strength. Renewed hope. Sounds like the perfect way to begin the last month of a challenging year.

Meditation #5—Firmly Planted

"We had to learn to bend without the world caving in…"

I Won't Give Up by Jason Mraz, © 2012

When situations in life don't go as planned, when breakthroughs don't come exactly when you hoped, when it seems for every step forward you take three back, when all hell appears to be breaking loose around you, where is your faith? In what, in whom is your trust?

Blessed is the man that trusteth in the Lord, and whose hope the Lord is. For he shall be as a tree planted by the waters, and that spreadeth out her roots by the river, and shall not see when heat cometh, but her leaf shall be green; and shall not be careful in the year of drought, neither shall cease from yielding fruit.  - Jeremiah 17:7-8

Though storms rise and tumultuous winds blow that seem to threaten to toss earth itself off its axis, I may bend, I may even bow down, but I will not break. My foundation is sure. I am that tree that is firmly planted by the waters, and the Spirit of God is the river.

Conquering Fear

Fear. I've mentioned dealing with this emotion in quite a few of my posts. It's something that I struggle with—sometimes to a paralyzing degree. It's a daily, moment-by-moment struggle, but I'm determined to overcome because fear is an enemy of faith.  

Perhaps you've heard the expression that fear stands for False Evidence Appearing Real. Well, I found this great quote by Mark Twain on the subject: “I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.”

Fear will make you remain silent when you should speak. Fear will cause you to run when you should stand and fight. Fear will tell you to give up rather than pursue your passion. Fear will persuade you to blend in rather than stand out. Fear will convince you to settle.

Fear makes bad decisions; causes anxiety, stress and ill health; damages relationships; and destroys dreams. Fear opens the door to all manner of pain, strife, and even hatred, which wreck havoc in your life. Just ask Job: "For the thing which I greatly feared is come upon me, and that which I was afraid of is come unto me." (Job 3:25) It was Job's own fears that brought about his suffering, not God, not even satan.

Fear prevents you from living the amazing, abundant life that you were meant to live.

God doesn't want us to live in fear, not even of Him. Perfect love cannot exist where there is fear. Fear breeds resentment such that those who fear Him will never be able to truly love Him or receive His love. 

As I've mentioned in a previous post, we come into this world with only two fears. Over time, we develop more than 7,000. That's a lot of fear! We may not be able to let go of all of them, but I believe it's possible to conquer them. One day, one moment at a time with courage and faith in a perfect love.

"There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment." –1 John 4:18
"Courage is not the absence of fear. It is acting in spite of it."–Mark Twain

With God Nothing Can Go Wrong

I was listening to a message today from Joseph Prince, "Jesus is Really That Good," and really wanted to share this excerpt:  "There are a lot of things that go can wrong with man. The amazing thing with God is nothing can go wrong. But we ask from man all the time. We look to man all the time. Therefore, we are disappointed all the time."  

If you have a chance, I'd recommend listening to the entire message. It's insightful, funny, encouraging and instructive. And he explains the Bible in a very simple, easy-to-understand language (although, he can talk really fast, especially when excited!). You can watch a small sample on YouTube: http://bit.ly/PCl47X.

God really isn't angry with any of us!

An Amazing Day—An Amazing God

My funky purple lamp.
I added the glyphs.

Today was a pretty amazing day filled with all sorts of small, yet wonderful surprises. To mention just a few:

• I found a funky, feather-trimmed, purple table lamp at Target discounted to only about $7! This instantly cheered me up because although I wasn't looking for a lamp, I needed one for my night stand (I like to read in bed), and purple is my favorite color. Plus, it was the only one left like it was just waiting for me to buy it.
• A sinus allergy that has been quite bothersome for some time now stayed under control today. 
• My neighbor called to say that she'd set aside some cinnamon bread for me to take to my mom who had just yesterday asked if I could bring her some (my neighbor gets the bread for free and my mom loves it!).  
• At the Giant, which always has long lines on Sunday, someone let me get in front of the them. I didn't ask—I didn't even think to ask—but a really sweet older woman with a cart full of groceries noticed that I had only four items and offered to let me go first. Anxious to get to my parents house, I definitely appreciated the gesture. 
• I finally figured out a more efficient way to get black text rather than dark gray when using the Blogger text editor, which for reasons I don't understand doesn't accept all HTML codes.

There were other surprising things that happened today that on there own might not seem like much. And yet, as each of these moments unfolded throughout the day, I could really sense God's presence all around me, reminding me how much He cares for me—and that He hears even the unspoken desires of my heart. From desiring a lamp for reading at night to needing relief from overactive sinuses to wanting cinnamon bread for my mom, whatever it is—big or small—if it matters to me, it matters to Him. 

I needed this lesson today, because learning to have faith for the little things builds your faith for the big things. And I believe he wants to do big things for me and for all of His children, like any loving parent would. Amazing day, amazing God.

Stumbling in the Dark

"Wherein ye greatly rejoice, though now for a season,

if need be, ye are in heaviness through manifold temptations:

That the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold

that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise

and honour and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ..."

–1 Peter 1:6-8

When I began this blog several months ago, I made a conscious decision to be as transparent as I could be about my spiritual journey—sharing my current experiences and even past ones—in the hope that I might encourage others. Even in the face of the most difficult challenges, I've always believed that it helps to at least try to maintain a positive, hopeful outlook—to believe that somehow God is going to come through and it will all work out. However, lest you be deceived into believing that I find living by faith easy, a continual joy fest, I am compelled to share that it isn't. 

There have been moments, many of them, where everything in my life seemed to go wrong all at once, and despite my best efforts, every decision I made seemed to make the problems worse not better. I have felt at times like I was stumbling through life in the dark—not knowing whether to go left or right or to just stand still—and the still, small voice of God that I desperately longed to and needed to hear, if for no other reason than reassurance, was strangely silent. I wish I could say that during such moments I manage to remain at peace and full of faith, and that I don't get anxious or depressed and cry like a baby. That I'm not overcome with fear. That I don't struggle to resist the seemingly endless stream of negative thoughts: "give up," "God has forgotten you," "you're on your own," "nobody cares," "you can't do this," etc. That I don't doubt or question God's love and His goodness toward me. I wish I could say these things, but I can't.

As someone who likes to be able to see where she's going and have all the answers up front, learning to trust a God who doesn't always show His hand is tough. Some days it seems downright impossible, and there have been times where I've totally blown it.

Thank God for friends who come along to remind me of what I already know in the inner most part of my being: that God is good, that He is faithful and He is totally trustworthy. Regardless of how I may feel about Him from one moment to the next, I know His love for me remains constant. There is nothing that I can do, nothing that I can say, that will make Him stop loving me. He's given me His Word on it and that Word is forever settled in heaven and earth. I also have God's Word that because He loves me, He will always provide the help that I need. 

Difficult as they are, the moments where I'm stumbling in the dark allow me the opportunity to learn to fully trust God. Sometimes, He brings us to the end of our own wisdom, knowledge and plans to save ourselves, so that we'll cry out to Him and no one else but Him. I wish it were easier; I wish that I could always see clearly the path in front of me. But who needs faith for what they can already see? It's in the darkness that we grow in faith and God gets to show Himself to be God.

A Meditation #3

"As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, my God." - Psalm 42:1 (NIV)

You see me. In all my fear and anxiety. In all my failure and weakness. Wherever I go. Whatever I do. You are there. To lead me. To comfort me. To strengthen and restore me. From the depths of my soul I cry out to you Jesus. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Forever faithful. Forever true. Loving Savior, comforter, friend, deliverer, healer. My heart is yours.

About Regrets, Mistakes and Trusting God

"You hide behind your walls
of maybe nevers
Forgetting that there's something more
than just knowing better.
Your mistakes do not define you now.
They tell you who you're not.
You've got to live this life you're given
like it's the only one you've got."

It's The Only One You've Got by 3 Doors Down
© Universal Music Publishing Group


One of my dearest friends told me some time ago how she learned to live her life with no regrets. It followed a near death experience she shared with her husband and two young sons (although not so young anymore) on an airplane flight that didn't go as planned (I believe the plane experienced some sort of mechanical failure) and the pilot was forced to make an emergency landing.

At first afraid, she remembered grabbing hold to her husband's hand and then being very grateful. "If my life ends here," she prayed, "it has been a rich one." She considered how she had been blessed to marry her best friend, to have two wonderful sons and to have done and experienced many other wonderful things that seemed unimaginable to her as a child growing up in Vietnam. After reaching their destination shaken, but safe, my friend determined that going forward she would live her life regret-free by making every interaction count, saying what she feels, and pursuing her dreams, even if she failed.

I don't think anyone plans to live a life full of regrets, but sometimes we allow fear, past hurts and mistakes to so paralyze us that we don't seize the moments and opportunities that are given to us to live our dreams. I've made many mistakes in my life—I still make them—and I've experienced many deep hurts and disappointments. I've even experienced the dream wrecking paralysis. But life moves forward, never backwards.

One of the most difficult parts of my journey with Christ is learning to place my mistakes, hurts, disappointments, and even my fear, into His hands each day so that I can move forward with Him. It requires of me a trust like I've never known. And yet, His word promises that I will live a life without regrets when I follow where He leads me.

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." - Jeremiah 29:11

The Power of Perfect Love

I look forward to the daily devotionals that arrive in my e-mail each morning. They're like breakfast for the spirit, providing me with the nourishment I need to get ready for the day. I found today's devotional particularly appropriate and helpful: There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear… (1 John 4:18)

Did you know that babies are born with only two fears? They have a fear of falling and a fear of loud noises. Yet by the time most of us reach adulthood, we've developed more than 7,000 different fears: fear of disease, fear of death, fear of rejection, fear of heights, fear of flying, fear of failure, fear of success, fear of snakes, fear of people. The list goes on and on. Some rational (at least that's what I tell myself) and some irrational, like my fear of mice. The mere sight of one (dead or alive) will cause me to become completely unhinged, despite the fact that I must be what?…. about 100 times its size.

Mickey and his cohorts aside, I've wrestled with many fears over the past couple of years. I faced what seemed like my biggest last spring when I was diagnosed with thyroid cancer. Initially, it was only the surgery I feared, and not so much the surgery itself as the being put to sleep part. Having prayerfully overcome that (I'll share in another post about the nun God sent to minister to me that day), another fear washed over me altogether a week later when I received the pathologist report. Cancer?! I immediately fell to my knees.

My surgeon recommended a second surgery to remove the entire thyroid, to be followed six to eight weeks later by radiation therapy. The problem was the second surgery had to be repeated within 14 days of the first, before the scar tissue began to heal, or I'd have to wait two months.

For the next three days, all sorts of fear-filled thoughts came, and Jesus quieted each one by reminding me how much He loves me. Alone at night as I'd cry myself to sleep, I could hear His voice reassuring me that all would be okay. When anxieties arose throughout day, I'd suddenly sense His peace. And at my most anxious, just moments before the second surgery, I found courage in His Word: "For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways." (Psalm 91:11 NIV) I must have read the 91st Psalm hundreds of times and never even noticed that passage until then.

Within three hours, the surgery was over. The next day, I went home. A week later, I returned to work. I was a bit weak and barely able to speak (most likely a good thing), but all was, and is, well.

Can't say that I don't still get afraid, worried or anxious. My faith isn't yet perfect, but it doesn't have to be. I just need to be willing to lean into Jesus during my anxious moments—His perfect, unconditional, unceasing love is strong enough to help me not only face my fears but also overcome them.

The next mouse that scurries across my living room had better watch out!

How My Morning's Frustration Became My Day's Shining Moment

Today was one of those rare days at work where I was noticeably infuriated. As I hinted in my last post, I'm not always sweet and lovely. I get angry and upset as do most people. But at work, I do try to behave in a very professional, respectful and calm manner. In fact these are among the very words that most of my colleagues use to describe me: professional, respectful, calm, friendly, quiet, easygoing.

Yet every now and again, there are days…. Today, the words "screaming banshee" come to mind. Okay, there wasn't any actual screaming (although I truly felt like it), but I was quite noticeably angry, annoyed, PO'd.

To help put things in context... I'm a Web content writer and editor. I'm part of a team of writers, designers, developers, and coders that manages a Web site consisting of more than 3,000 pages. This morning's anger was fueled by an e-mail my boss received from a client disappointed that her micro-site wasn't completed on time. In said e-mail, she failed to mention that she submitted significant site changes just prior to the time it was due to launch. An oversight, I'm sure, of which I was more than happy to alert my boss.

After spending a few moments venting with my fellow project team member and our systems director, I was able to very calmly express to the client manager my disappointment and frustration with clients who don't own their role in creating project delays. My team member and I busted our you-know-whats to turn this project around within an extremely tight deadline. We had the initial page mock-ups ready for review a day ahead of schedule. Opinion stated, I chose not to fret about it anymore. I moved on to my other projects.
Several e-mail exchanges later—still more changes were requested—the project was finally completed. The site went live and looked great.

Near the end of the day, my peace long since restored, my boss sent me and my fellow project team member a very nice e-mail congratulating us for a job well done. It's funny how things work out. Had the thankless client not sent her scathing e-mail, it's quite likely my boss would not have seen this particular micro-site until weeks or months after completion. He doesn't review every project we complete. He simply doesn't have the time.

So, all things really do work together for good. Behind the scenes, without me knowing it, God was turning my morning's frustration into an opportunity for me and my team member to shine!

I wonder what He'll teach me tomorrow?