Letting Myself Feel and Be

Today is my dad’s birthday. He would have been 93. I’m giving myself some TLC today and allowing myself to simply and fully feel what I feel.

I’m giving myself permission to sink into my feelings completely, without apology. Grief. Anger. Confusion. Disappointment. Fear. Whatever. If tears come, let them come—buckets full, if they must. No holding back. No judgment. Love and acceptance only. Perhaps I should be this way with myself every day.
 
I believe I spotted a blue butterfly as I was leaving my father’s grave site. It passed by so quickly, I wasn't certain. How curious, if it was one.

I am grateful to have been able to visit my father’s grave site. It’s nearly an hour drive and I’ve yet no transportation of my own. I had been wanting to make at least one visit this summer. Today was that day.

The stone looks perfect, as headstone’s go. The inscription was exactly as my family had requested. However, it was a bit disheartening to see his among a vast sea of headstones of other fallen soldiers. Don’t know why, or what difference it would make, but I kind of wanted his to stand out, to be bigger, to be given VIP status. He was certainly a VIP to me and to my family.

Truth? I'd rather he not be there at all, or more precisely, I'd rather he were still in his physical body. I know that being spirit we exist beyond the grave, and my dad's presence continues to be strongly felt, yet I'd rather he had lived out his 100 years in this physical realm as he'd always talked about in joy and health. I would rather be able to hold his hand, see his smiling face, or hear him say "hey, baby," a term of endearment reserved for his daughters and occasionally our mom. As much as I despise the phrase and its overuse, this is a case of "it is what it is."

Today, I’m just letting myself be and feel. Feel and be.

Is it Time to Change Your Story?

“The only thing standing between you and your goal is the bullshit story you keep telling yourself as to why you can't achieve it.” – Jordan Belfort (the Wolf of Wall Street)

I included the above quote at the bottom of my last post, but felt the need to highlight it today after reading an article on LinkedIn about a woman in India, paralyzed from the neck down, who earns R 2,00,000 monthly (the approx. equivalent of $3,111 U.S. dollars).

According to the article, the woman, Sujata, was injured in a car accident while returning home with her family one evening in 2001. The accident caused severe damage to her spinal cord and after months of treatment, doctors determined she would not be able to walk again. She was only 21.

Concerned about becoming a financial burden to her family, Sujata wanted to find a way to earn money while being at home. Based on advice from friends, she decided to begin investing in the stock market. It was difficult at first, she says, to type on her laptop because of her paralysis. She now easily uses her laptop to do trades.

Sujata has become so successful at trading that she is now financially self-reliant, earning R 2,00,000 to R 2,50,000 every month. She has also started an organization to work with children who have spinal cord injuries.

You can read the full story written by Dr. Vivek Bindra on LinkedIn.

It’s well past time I let go of my BS story. How about you?

Need more inspiration? Check this out.

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"Change your story, change your life." – Tony Robbins

"You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step." – Martin Luther King, Jr.

Are You Choosing What You Truly Want?

"The world is yourself pushed out. Ask yourself what do you want and then give it to yourself! Do not question how it will come about; just go your way knowing that the evidence of what you have done must appear, and it will." – Neville Goddard 

As I was doing my meditation this afternoon, the following question came up: Do you really go after what you want?

I allowed myself to expand on it further: Do you really go after what you truly want? Not what you think you can have or what you think you can get, or even what you think you should want or should have. And, not what others think you should want or should have or can get.

Do you really go after what YOU want? If not, why not? What is stopping you?

What reasons, rational or irrational, are you using to not have what you want?

What stories are you telling yourself to prevent you from going after what you want?

What excuses are you giving significance?

Who or what are you blaming and, hence, giving away your power to as being the cause of why you are settling for less than what you truly want?

What payoff/benefit are you receiving from not having or going after what you want?

Are you now able to release all of the stories, excuses, rationalizing, blaming, etc., and fully own what it is you really want and go after it?

Can you choose to love yourself enough to give yourself that which you truly want and desire?

Can you really allow yourself to have whatever you choose, without apology?

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"To ask for something in prayer is to simply lay hold of what’s yours. You have the right, and even the responsibility to command your life." – Chris Michaels, Science of Mind minister

"Our blessings happen because we choose them." – Robert T. Stevens, Conscious Language

“The only thing standing between you and your goal is the bullshit story you keep telling yourself as to why you can't achieve it.” – Jordan Belfort (the Wolf of Wall Street)

Disregarding Appearances

Live your life in a sublime spirit of confidence and determination; disregard appearances, conditions, in fact all evidence of the senses that deny the fulfillment of your desire. Rest in the assumption that you are already what you want to be. – Neville Goddard


This journey I’m on feels scary and even lonely at times, yet I’m determined, fiercely so, to get through all of the current drama and step into my preferred reality of abundance, divine health, eternal youthfulness, fun, love, joy, peace, adventure—my life of sheer and utter bliss!!

To paraphrase the main character from one of my favorite movies, Auntie Mame, life’s a banquet serving up all sorts of amazing experiences, but most people are choosing to starve instead, or consume the same lame meal day after day after day.

Not me. I'm choosing to enjoy life's banquet offerings. I'm choosing to be, to feel myself into amazingly exciting experiences and the life of my choice. I’m choosing to believe that my desires and dreams, no matter how outrageous others think them, are not only possible, but already are.

And how will it all come about? I don’t know, but I’m choosing to trust that it’s all happening now. Even in those moments, especially in those moments, when external circumstances suggest it ain’t so.

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"For we walk by faith, not by sight." – 2 Corinthians 5:7 

“You can’t be Average and Amazing – at the same time.” – Mr Twenty Twenty (Life Coach, FreeNeville.com)