How to Live Happily Ever After

"Have faith in your dreams and someday,

Your rainbow will come smiling through,

No matter how your heart is grieving,

If you keep on believing,

The dream that you wish will come true."

A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes from Disney's Cinderella, ©1950

I wasn't kidding about Disney. God talks to me in the most unexpected ways and through the most unexpected people sometimes. I'm recalling meeting my new dentist for the first time last October. I had what felt like the world's worst toothache and desperately needed to see a dentist, stat! Since my previous dentist was quite a distance from where I now work, so not convenient to get to and also no longer accepted by my insurance, I sought out my much trusted office manager for a referral. This woman is a real gem, a bit of curmudgeon, but a real gem. She assured me she has the perfect dentist who I'll simply love, and she was right. I was able to get an appointment right away and from the moment I stepped into his office, I knew I'd found my new dentist.

A mature man of about mid-60ish, I'd say, he was very congenial and reassuring that he'd be able to help alleviate my pain or refer me to a surgeon who could. If he had only delivered on that promise, I'd have been eternally grateful. But there was something more he offered that day—an unexpected insight into my life. "You have a very beautiful smile," I recall him saying, exactly what you want to hear from a dentist. He examined my teeth and jaw for a bit, said something about me having good  bone structure, and then, after slight pause, followed with "You have the look of a woman who has spent a lifetime trying to take care of other people." Wow! Perhaps, I should have been offended. He after all didn't know me or anything about me or my life. Yet, I wasn't offended. The beautiful smile was deceiving. I knew my heart was very heavy that day and not just because of the throbbing pain in my lower left jaw.

I was a woman at the breaking point. My parents were having significant health problems, my parents' friends were demanding answers I couldn't give, my siblings were at odds, and my neighbors were constantly bringing to my attention problems in the community that needed fixing (I serve on my Condo Association's board). Plus, my body hadn't adjusted to my missing thyroid. I felt like a car sputtering to a stop when the last bit of gas is spent, but I really wanted, needed, to "make" everything better for everyone. The dentist's words that day stirred up something in my spirit. I couldn't let them go. Days, weeks, months went by and I could still hear his words "You have the look of a woman who has spent her lifetime trying to take care of others." I pondered them again and again trying to grasp their full meaning. And finally it hit me… I need to take care of me. I need to nurture me. I need to follow my heart's desires. I need to give myself permission to live the life I dream.

At some point in my life, I had taken hold of the belief that my happiness, peace, and joy is dependent on my "making" sure other people are happy. But it isn't true. Your happiness, peace and joy results from nurturing your own soul, and is then radiated to others. The people around you will either catch your happiness vibe or want to stay out of your orbit. Either way, you're in a good place.

And so my journey began in late February to take care of me and rediscover my dreams. Some days, I find I've made great progress; others, not so much. Even now, I still struggle with the tendency to seek the permission of others to enjoy my life. And "sorry" isn't the hardest word for me; "no" is. But, I'm pushing ahead. One moment at a time.

"All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them."  - Walt Disney

Instrument of Peace

If you want to change the world, you must begin with yourself. That's what I've been learning this month. It is very easy to complain about a matter, but quite another to do something about it. Sometimes, just a simple adjustment in attitude or perspective is all that's required to turn a bad situation around and open the door to all the beauty and joy life offers.

Almost every morning when I was in high school, my classmates and I recited the following Prayer of Saint Francis as a reminder that within each of us is the power to change our world. Any person whose heart is yielded in love to God can be used by Him to make a difference.

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love.
Where there is injury, pardon.
Where there is doubt, faith.
Where there is despair, hope.
Where there is darkness, light.
Where there is sadness, joy.
O Divine Master,
grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled, as to console;
to be understood, as to understand
to be loved, as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive.
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
and it is in dying that we are born to Eternal Life.
Amen.

Buy a cup of coffee for that surly co-worker. Offer to pick up groceries for your elderly neighbor. Exercise patience with that hard-to-please customer. Share your lunch with the homeless guy outside your office. Let the other driver have that prime parking space that you saw first. Check up on a friend whose been MIA. Choose to walk in love. Choose to walk in forgiveness. Choose to live in hope. Choose to believe in the impossible. And watch the world around you transform.

Mustard Seed Faith

"... for verily I say unto you, If ye have faith as a grain
of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain,
Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove;
and nothing shall be impossible unto you." – Matthew 17:20

The thing I'm most grateful for today...visiting my parents. For convenience, we have their groceries delivered to their home; however, since neither of my parents is particularly keen about letting strangers into their home, my sister usually arranges to be there when the groceries arrive. Today, I was blessed to be able to do it.

When I arrived, my mother was curled up in a fetal position in bed and groaning about her ear. For just a moment, I started to become anxious. But then I remembered that God loves her and faith as a mustard seed in His love for her—and for me—is all that's needed for His grace to flow and bring healing. So, I took hold of my mother's hands and prayed with her. Nothing fancy—just a basic confession of our faith in God's Word, His power to heal and His abundant love for us. I even encouraged my mother to speak out of her faith instead of her fear. (You have to speak out because faith comes by hearing.) Slowly at first, then quite fervently she began to speak. After a few minutes, she sat up and started asking me her usual series of questions. And just a couple of hours later as I was preparing to leave, my mother was not only up, she had come downstairs to get herself something to eat. Of course, she went for the Hersheys first (because she knows, as do most women, that chocolate has medicinal benefits!).

It's amazing what God can do when we exercise just a little faith.

Be Drunk

Now that I have your attention... part of today's post is borrowed from French poet Charles Baudelaire. I uncovered this gem at the beginning of the year while I was cleaning out my old office in preparation for the move to my new one.

It was just the wake up call I needed at the time. Physically and emotionally exhausted from dealing with my parents health issues and my own, I had fallen into a rut. Where I used to wake up excitedly anticipating the day ahead, I found myself simply trying to endure each day. I had lost my joy and my peace, and was starting to lose my faith. This poem served as the catalyst for my journey to rediscover the divine fire within me and reawaken my passion for life.

Be Drunk

You have to be always drunk. That's all there is to it—it's the 
only way. So as not to feel the horrible burden of time that breaks 
your back and bends you to the earth, you have to be continually 
drunk.

But on what? Wine, poetry or virtue, as you wish. But be 
drunk.

And if sometimes, on the steps of a palace or the green grass of 
a ditch, in the mournful solitude of your room, you wake again, 
drunkenness already diminishing or gone, ask the wind, the wave, 
the star, the bird, the clock, everything that is flying, everything 
that is groaning, everything that is rolling, everything that is 
singing, everything that is speaking...ask what time it is and 
wind, wave, star, bird, clock will answer you: "It is time to be 
drunk! So as not to be the martyred slaves of time, be drunk, be 
continually drunk! On wine, on poetry or on virtue as you wish."

Ten Things for Which I'm Grateful

Several years ago a church in the Midwest launched a campaign to end complaining. I signed up for the challenge, but after about a year, I just kind of fell by the wayside. I hadn't really thought much about it until recently. This week, as I was reading about the Israelites trials in the desert as they headed from Egypt to their promised land, I realized the dangers of complaining. In the face of all the wonderful miracles God performed on their behalf—parting seas, destroying their enemies, sending food from heaven, bringing forth water from rock—the Israelites complained incessantly. They were so focused on the things that they didn't like or that didn't seem to be going their way that they couldn't appreciate or enjoy all of the amazing gifts God had given them, especially his favor. He wanted to bless them even more but could not because of their complaining.

While dealing with an issue at work this morning, I was tempted to behave like the Israelites. In fact, I was on the brink of a "Jesus, really?... Can I get a little help down here?" mini-tirade, when I decided instead to take a walk to the garden behind our office building. As I sat in the garden, staring at the colorful array of flowers and feeling the warmth of the sun on my skin, my entire perspective changed. I suddenly felt very peaceful and blessed, and grateful. Taking advantage of the moment, I made a short list of things I'm grateful for...

1. This day because it's another opportunity to be blessed.
2. My job because it's an opportunity to bless others.
3. Love because it's the source of all that is beautiful in the world.
4. Health because it's a gift that keeps me alive.
5. Butterflies because they are evidence that sometimes the most beautiful things emerge from the ugliest of circumstances.
6. My family because through them I'm learning forgiveness and unconditional love.
7. My friends because they always think the best of me even when I'm being a brat.
8. Laughter because it heals better than most medicines.
9. Music because it lifts my spirit and soul.
10. Dreams because they help direct my future.

Interestingly, the rest of my work day went very well.

Free to Be You and Me

"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness." - Declaration of Independence, July 4, 1776 (Read full text)

Happy Independence Day, America!

The freedom to decide your destiny is a precious and a divine right. It should be cherished, respected, celebrated and protected, today and everyday. This Independence Day, I am choosing like our country's forefathers to have hope for a life of limitless possibilities, goodness and abundant blessings.

As you celebrate America's independence, what does freedom mean to you?

Here are a few thoughts on freedom to inspire...

Freedom is never voluntarily given by the oppressor; it must be demanded by the oppressed. –Martin Luther King, Jr.

To be conformed is imprisonment and slavery. To be transformed is to be emancipated, liberated! –Mark Chironna

 There is no such thing as slow freedom. Til we are fully free we are all slaves. –Gandhi

...where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty. –2 Corinthians 3:17

But what is liberty without wisdom, and without virtue? It is the greatest of all possible evils; for it is folly, vice, and madness, without tuition or restraint. –Edmund Burke