Not the End of the World—Just the Beginning

It's 12:01 a.m., Saturday, December 22, 2012, and the earth and it's 7 billion plus inhabitants are still thriving (more or less). And, while the world didn't end as all the conspiracy theorists and doomsday forecasters predicted, I do believe it has changed. Perhaps we've moved into the new heaven and new earth that Peter spoke about? (See 2 Peter 3:13)

In any event, now that you've survived the "end," how do you intend to live the rest of your life?

Only you can decide: Fear or hope? Love or hate?

As so perfectly stated by Lionel Richie and the Commodores, "This. Is. Your life!"  Watch video

(Thanks to 4eva68 and the Commodores for the video.)

The Victory that Overcomes Evil

The attack on innocent children a few days ago in Connecticut, and earlier at a school in China, still have me reeling, trying to understand it all, as if that were even possible. But tonight, I read a powerful message by Gregory Dickow, one of the ministers that I follow, which helped me gain some amazing insight. (It also reminded me that I can see much more clearly with my spiritual eyes.)

I had to share it with you: http://powertochangeblog.com/2012/12/massacre-of-the-innocents-from-tragedy-to-destiny/

Also, if you enjoy reading this blog, please let me know. I certainly enjoy writing these posts, but would love to hear from you.

"...and this is the victory that overcometh the world, even our faith." - 1 John 5:4

Renewed Strength. Renewed Hope.

As the last month of the year unfolds and we prepare for the celebration of Christmas and the start of a new year, I find myself reflecting over the whirlwind that was 2012. It was a year filled with many good moments, and yet more than a few disappointments and setbacks. To be honest, as I look back over this year, I feel like I've been through both the fire and the flood. Wilderness seasons are tough! By God's grace, I'm still standing—weakened and a bit weary, perhaps, but still standing.

Along the route I sometimes travel from my parents home to mine, I pass by a church that like most has a sign with the week's message/sermon topic. For the past few weeks, the following message has been posted:

"But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint." - Isaiah 40:31

I would like to say that I was immediately comforted by this message. I wasn't. But after some time, some pondering... Renewed strength. Renewed hope. Sounds like the perfect way to begin the last month of a challenging year.

Happy Thanksgiving!

"We gather together to ask the Lord’s blessing;
He chastens and hastens His will to make known;
The wicked oppressing now cease from distressing;
Sing praises to His Name; He forgets not His own."

- We Gather Together, Dutch Hymn

I have much to be grateful for today—my family, my friends, good health, and a nice home are just the beginning. But most of all, I'm grateful for God's unfailing love and abundant grace, which surrounds me daily and inspires me to dream big, hope always, and believe that all things really are possible. At my best, He loves me; at my worst, He still loves me.

For all of His mercy, all of His love, and all of His goodness, I give thanks—today and everyday.

"Sing praises to His Name; He forgets not His own."

Handmade Cards, Ice Cream and a Burning Tree?

I've realized over the past two years that when you're trying to navigate your way through life's many challenges, you can become so focused on the things that are not so great—the stuff that's not working—that you easily overlook all the good that surrounds you. Much like the children of Israel who when sent to spy out the promised land were so awed and fearful of the giants, all but two overlooked the fresh succulent fruit, beautifully cultivated grass, nice homes and abundant springs in the same land. I understand their fear. I also understand that allowing adversity and the subsequent fear to cause me to shrink back delays the blessings that await me. So, I decided to make a game (of sorts) of searching out the beauty and goodness around me. Everyday I venture out of my home looking for something good, beautiful, new, and wonderfully surprising. And each day I have found something. Like today.

This morning I was feeling a bit harried and anxious thinking of all the things I needed to do today (and this week for that matter because I haven't yet mastered the whole "taking no thought for tomorrow" thing). I was worried mostly that I wouldn't have time or the energy to do it all. Among the things that awaited me today: I had committed to spending the afternoon at a friend's home for a card making class (just in time for Christmas), there were several things that needed to get done around the house, plus I had already gotten the early morning call from my dad that means I should stop by my parents home.

Well, the card making class was especially enjoyable and relaxing—it offered good company and good conversation. I had a chance to catch up with a friend and former co-worker who I hadn't seen in a while, there was Christmas music and pumpkin cake, and the cards we made are really beautiful. (I made my first window cutout card, which I really liked.) But when I realized the class ran longer than I'd anticipated, I found myself becoming anxious again thinking I might not finish the other things I needed to get done. At the very least, I had to visit my parents since I'd promised to pickup ice cream for my mom (because much like my dad's orange soda cravings of a few months ago, my mom has developed a craving for ice cream—vanilla only, thankyouverymuch!).

Off to the store I go for vanilla ice cream, and then to my parents. My mom was visibly happy and appreciative to get the ice cream; my dad, like any good husband, was happy for my mom to get the ice cream. Mission accomplished, I quickly move to the next thing trying to get back on schedule. 

My blazing red cure for harriedness. The tree is completely red
and all sorts of awesome! The grayish green near the top is from
a hanging branch of the tree that sits in front of this one.

I jump in my car and am headed to the store to pick up a few items to help with the things around the house when suddenly I'm stopped by a most awesome sight—a blazing red tree just two doors up from my parents home. It's the only tree in the neighborhood still having leaves that had also completely changed colors. In that moment, I forgot about the store. I forgot about my housework. I forgot about the ice cream. I forgot about the cards. I pretty much was unconcerned about anything but that tree. I stopped my car and got out to get a better look. I even took a few pictures. I truly believe the most beautiful art is found in nature. (My picture taking skills on the other hand could use some work.)

I managed to miss seeing the tree when I walked up the street to my parents home and again on the way out as I headed to my car. How I finally came to notice it when I did, I can only imagine was God designed—a beautiful red tree set against the backdrop of a drab sky—as a reminder to me of His goodness. A few pics later, feeling a burst of fresh energy, I headed to the store, and then home. "So, did you get everything done today that you planned?" you ask. No. But I was no longer anxious about it either. Suddenly it wasn't all that important.

If you're having trouble seeing the good and the beautiful that's around you, I encourage you to try the following any time of day: step outside, close your eyes and take a deep breath, and then open your eyes and gaze up at the sky. Sometimes you just have to shift your focus to see the good, but the more good things you see, the more you'll find.

Spirit Lifted in Two Minutes

So today I was having what felt like a pretty lousy day. To be perfectly honest, the past couple of months have been extremely challenging, but I've been extremely determined to keep my head up—until today. As I sunk into my bed tonight, physically exhausted and emotionally spent, I could hear my inner voice screaming as tears flooded my eyes: "Lord, where are you?..."

After sitting still for a bit, I decide to finish reading an online article I had started earlier and stumbled across this video.

Suddenly my lousy day didn't seem so lousy, and my recent challenges a lot less difficult to overcome. Anything really is possible.

Seize Each Moment

Life changes in an instant. What is true one moment does not have to be true in the next, unless you make it so. Use this knowledge to your advantage—choose to relentlessly pursue your dream in each moment. Refuse to give up. Refuse to be defeated. Refuse to take no for an answer. And most of all, refuse to let what you see with your eyes determine what you believe. Rather, let the good that you believe determine what you see.

Meditate on these things...

"...because having the power of seeing, they do not see; and having the power of hearing, they do not hear, nor do they grasp and understand." - Matthew 13:3 (AMP)

"...blessed are they that have not seen, and yet have believed." - John 20:29

"And being not weak in faith, [Abraham] considered not his own body now dead, when he was about an hundred years old, neither yet the deadness of Sarah's womb: he staggered not at the promise of God through unbelief; but was strong in faith, giving glory to God; and being fully persuaded that, what He had promised, He was able also to perform." - Romans 4:19-20

"While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal." - 2 Corinthians 4:18

"Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." - Hebrews 11:1

I See Beauty All Around Me

Today is October 17. Of course, I realize that pretty much everyone across the planet realizes what day it is (although depending on where you live, it might already be October 18), but I make this statement because it was such an unbelievably gorgeous day where I live. It's fall on the East Coast and by now it's usually cool (if not outright cold) and sometimes a bit murky looking, but not today. Today was surprisingly (and pleasantly) warm and sunny—more spring like than fall, except for that crisp scent that seems distinctive of fall air.

As I sat in the garden during my lunch time, I had to take a break from my reading to just sit still and absorb everything around me. I was simply amazed by all the beauty that surrounded me: the trees, some with yellow, orange and red leaves; the still green grass; the newly planted flowers of various hues; the warmth of the sun; the sky. I soaked it all in for as long as possible so I could relive the experience again and again—seeing every color and pattern, hearing every sound, and smelling every scent—long after I returned indoors.

Meditation #5—Firmly Planted

"We had to learn to bend without the world caving in…"

I Won't Give Up by Jason Mraz, © 2012

When situations in life don't go as planned, when breakthroughs don't come exactly when you hoped, when it seems for every step forward you take three back, when all hell appears to be breaking loose around you, where is your faith? In what, in whom is your trust?

Blessed is the man that trusteth in the Lord, and whose hope the Lord is. For he shall be as a tree planted by the waters, and that spreadeth out her roots by the river, and shall not see when heat cometh, but her leaf shall be green; and shall not be careful in the year of drought, neither shall cease from yielding fruit.  - Jeremiah 17:7-8

Though storms rise and tumultuous winds blow that seem to threaten to toss earth itself off its axis, I may bend, I may even bow down, but I will not break. My foundation is sure. I am that tree that is firmly planted by the waters, and the Spirit of God is the river.

Butterflies Are Free

This is not the actual butterfly that I saw.

Something truly amazing happened to me today. I feel that I say that a lot in my posts, and those of you who are reading my blog may be starting to wonder if I live in the real world. Let me assure you, I do! But honestly, something extraordinary did happen to me today, and it actually began about three weeks ago.

Each day, if the weather permits, I go out around lunch to take a walk or sit on the bench in the garden near my office. About three weeks ago, as I was sitting there eating and reading, a beautiful sapphire blue, brown and gold butterfly alighted on the bench, right next to me. I see butterflies in the garden all the time, but the fact that this one just touched down right by me and hung out for a quite a bit felt like a message from God to me! I'd been having a bad day that day and was quite anxious about a few things, yet when I saw that butterfly, my entire focus and mood completely shifted. Awed by his beauty and appreciative of his company, a sense of calm and happiness came over me.

Just at the moment where I thought to reach for my phone to take a picture, he flew away. Well, for weeks I kept hoping, praying he returned because he (or she) was really quite extraordinary looking and I wanted to get another chance to take a picture. Each day, I'd go out at lunch (except when it was raining) looking and expecting to see this butterfly despite the fact that my rational mind told me he was likely thousands of miles away—I've read that some butterflies can migrate over 3,000 miles—and the chances of his reappearing were nearly zero to none. Fortunately, my inner child doesn't easily accept such odds, so she kept looking.

Today, I stepped out of the office for a break to clear my head and decided to take a walk to the garden. It was a little too cool to sit outside, so I quickly started back to the office when I saw... my butterfly! Blue, brown, gold and beautiful, flying among the flowers of which there were only a few remaining. It couldn't possibly, or could it? Just to make sure, I watched for awhile waiting for him to land on a flower, and then tip-toed over to him to get a closer look. Same size, same color and pattern. If it wasn't him, it was most certainly his twin! And even if it wasn't, I've read that sightings of blue butterflies are rare. To see two just a few weeks apart is still a miracle to me.

Extraordinarily wonderful, even seemingly impossible, things do happen... to those who expect it. What are you expecting?

Conquering Fear

Fear. I've mentioned dealing with this emotion in quite a few of my posts. It's something that I struggle with—sometimes to a paralyzing degree. It's a daily, moment-by-moment struggle, but I'm determined to overcome because fear is an enemy of faith.  

Perhaps you've heard the expression that fear stands for False Evidence Appearing Real. Well, I found this great quote by Mark Twain on the subject: “I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.”

Fear will make you remain silent when you should speak. Fear will cause you to run when you should stand and fight. Fear will tell you to give up rather than pursue your passion. Fear will persuade you to blend in rather than stand out. Fear will convince you to settle.

Fear makes bad decisions; causes anxiety, stress and ill health; damages relationships; and destroys dreams. Fear opens the door to all manner of pain, strife, and even hatred, which wreck havoc in your life. Just ask Job: "For the thing which I greatly feared is come upon me, and that which I was afraid of is come unto me." (Job 3:25) It was Job's own fears that brought about his suffering, not God, not even satan.

Fear prevents you from living the amazing, abundant life that you were meant to live.

God doesn't want us to live in fear, not even of Him. Perfect love cannot exist where there is fear. Fear breeds resentment such that those who fear Him will never be able to truly love Him or receive His love. 

As I've mentioned in a previous post, we come into this world with only two fears. Over time, we develop more than 7,000. That's a lot of fear! We may not be able to let go of all of them, but I believe it's possible to conquer them. One day, one moment at a time with courage and faith in a perfect love.

"There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment." –1 John 4:18
"Courage is not the absence of fear. It is acting in spite of it."–Mark Twain

Just Imagine the Possibilities

For the past month, I've been reading about the power of imagination and how the world's most significant inventions, innovations, and discoveries have come about as the result of someone daring to imagine that the seemingly impossible is in fact possible. This ability to imagine—to create within your mind vivid images of how you would like your world to look, feel, and be—is something that came quite naturally to us as children. Remember how we played dress up and hosted tea parties with our make-believe friends, or pretended to be knights who rescued the villagers from fire-breathing dragons. Remember how much endless joy we experienced believing that we could be and do anything we wanted until we were taught to grow up and live in the "real" world.

Well, scientists are discovering that imaginative play or thought is essential for children and adults. It's the stuff that fuels dreams and makes them reality.

Because I'm learning to reactivate my childlike imagination and because I love all things French (well, almost all things—not a fan of escargot!), I particularly appreciated stumbling across the following inspirational quote today from Jean-Louis Eitienne, a French explorer who is the first man to cross the Artic by hot air balloon.

"Everything looks impossible for the people who never try anything."

And for added inspiration, here's a quote from poet Maya Angelou, who I plan to meet one day:

"If one is lucky, a solitary fantasy can totally transform one million realities."

To this I offer, "The realization of a big dream begins with a big imagination."

So, go ahead... activate your childlike imagination and watch what unfolds. I dare you! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1fg1hcs6iYs

With God Nothing Can Go Wrong

I was listening to a message today from Joseph Prince, "Jesus is Really That Good," and really wanted to share this excerpt:  "There are a lot of things that go can wrong with man. The amazing thing with God is nothing can go wrong. But we ask from man all the time. We look to man all the time. Therefore, we are disappointed all the time."  

If you have a chance, I'd recommend listening to the entire message. It's insightful, funny, encouraging and instructive. And he explains the Bible in a very simple, easy-to-understand language (although, he can talk really fast, especially when excited!). You can watch a small sample on YouTube: http://bit.ly/PCl47X.

God really isn't angry with any of us!

More Powerful Than You Know

In one of my posts last month, “Something to Think About,” I referenced the following quote that I believed was attributed to Nelson Mandela.

"Our greatest fear is not that we are powerless, but that we are far more powerful than we think."

I've since learned, after some research, that although many attribute the statement to Mandela, it was stated by Marianne Williamson in her book, A Return to Love. Read in context, the message is even more compelling:

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.

Each of us was created for a purpose—to solve a problem that no one else can. And we have within us all that we need accomplish the task. Hard as it may be to believe, it is no less true. What will you do with this truth?

An Amazing Day—An Amazing God

My funky purple lamp.
I added the glyphs.

Today was a pretty amazing day filled with all sorts of small, yet wonderful surprises. To mention just a few:

• I found a funky, feather-trimmed, purple table lamp at Target discounted to only about $7! This instantly cheered me up because although I wasn't looking for a lamp, I needed one for my night stand (I like to read in bed), and purple is my favorite color. Plus, it was the only one left like it was just waiting for me to buy it.
• A sinus allergy that has been quite bothersome for some time now stayed under control today. 
• My neighbor called to say that she'd set aside some cinnamon bread for me to take to my mom who had just yesterday asked if I could bring her some (my neighbor gets the bread for free and my mom loves it!).  
• At the Giant, which always has long lines on Sunday, someone let me get in front of the them. I didn't ask—I didn't even think to ask—but a really sweet older woman with a cart full of groceries noticed that I had only four items and offered to let me go first. Anxious to get to my parents house, I definitely appreciated the gesture. 
• I finally figured out a more efficient way to get black text rather than dark gray when using the Blogger text editor, which for reasons I don't understand doesn't accept all HTML codes.

There were other surprising things that happened today that on there own might not seem like much. And yet, as each of these moments unfolded throughout the day, I could really sense God's presence all around me, reminding me how much He cares for me—and that He hears even the unspoken desires of my heart. From desiring a lamp for reading at night to needing relief from overactive sinuses to wanting cinnamon bread for my mom, whatever it is—big or small—if it matters to me, it matters to Him. 

I needed this lesson today, because learning to have faith for the little things builds your faith for the big things. And I believe he wants to do big things for me and for all of His children, like any loving parent would. Amazing day, amazing God.

The Father's Blessing

Home again, home again, jiggity jig... Sorry, I had to go there. I arrived home safely today—a blessing I suspect many take for granted when traveling whether a short or long distance. Having driven by two accidents on the way back, one that looked pretty serious, I said "Thank you, Lord!" as soon as I turned the corner into my building's parking lot.

Anyway, I wanted to share a truly special video that one of the ministers I follow on Twitter posted on yesterday with the promise that watching it would change your life. It's a little more than five minutes long, but extremely powerful. You'll find it especially uplifting if you're going through a difficult season of life or have ever felt at some moment unappreciated, unloved, unworthy, discouraged, disconnected or, as one of my dear friends would say, "like a hot mess." Even if you're feeling perfect and all together, watch it for an extra bit of encouragement. I've actually decided to make this part of my daily quiet time.

The Father's Blessing

Life from the Beach

"Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest." - Matthew 11:28


Tonight's my last night at the beach where I've been for the past few days enjoying a much-needed vacation. I would love to spend another few days here, but I'm extremely grateful for the four days I've spent just laying on the beach, soaking up the sun's warmth, and being serenaded by the sound of ocean waves splashing up against the shore. I feel relaxed and renewed in mind, body, and spirit.

Today as I lie on the beach, I was awestruck looking out over the horizon where it seemed as if heaven and earth converged. And for a brief moment, I didn't have a care in the world. I had no deadlines to meet, no place in particular that I had to be, and—surprise of all surprises—my phone, which I carried with me to take pictures, didn't ring once. Everything was just calm. Perhaps, this was God's subtle way of letting me know that I create my own cares. In the midst of a seemingly chaotic world and life, I can experience peace by learning to rest in Him and discover true bliss by simply taking time to enjoy the earth He created just for me.

Tomorrow, I return home—a little bit browner and very definitely refreshed. I hope to carry my lesson from the beach with me.

You Have What You Say

"For assuredly, I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, ‘Be removed and be cast into the sea,’ and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that those things he says will be done, he will have whatever he says." - Mark 11:23 (NKJV)

For several months now I've been contemplating the power of my thoughts and my words and I have been taking care to watch both what I think and what I say—for you are snared by the words of your own mouth saith Solomon (Proverbs 6:2; And who would know better than Solomon). It's been quite a challenge as my logical mind is accustomed as most logical minds are to dwelling on or reciting the so-called facts of a situation. But real faith, God's kind of faith, calls those things that be not as though they are. Real faith, God's kind of faith, understands that things which are now seen are temporary, ever-changing, and came about from things that are unseen, yet eternal and everlasting. Real faith, God's kind of faith, knows that so-called facts are subject to change, truth on the other of hands, never does. And the truth is that God watches over His word to perform it, so that anything He has promised will come to pass if we will only with our words come into agreement with Him.

In talking with His disciples, Jesus made this bold statement: the words that I speak unto you, they are spirit, and they are life. (John 6:63) Because we are created in His image and likeness, the words that we speak are also spirit and life. In fact, whether we choose to believe it or not—we hold the power of life and death in our often carelessly used tongues (Proverbs 18:21).

Consider this the next time you're tempted to complain about how bad your life, job, health, relationship, the economy, the weather, or whatever is. That which we meditate on in word or thought, we draw to us. So, rather than state the seemingly obvious, call forth the good that you want to see. As Joel Osteen writes in his new book, I Declare: "Don't use your words to describe the situation. Use your words to change the situation."

You have what you say, so say something good. Better yet, say something wondrous.

******
Musical theater geek that I am, here's a little song inspiration from one of my favorite musicals:  Everything's Coming Up Roses.

Thought for the Day

Two posts in two days... I'm feeling encouraged.

I woke up this morning feeling a bit down. Maybe it was the lack of sleep. Maybe it was my lament over the seemingly endless cycle of medical appointments (radiologists, endocrinologists and ENT specialists, oh my!).  And yet, always, deep within my spirit stirs an incessant hope of better days ahead. So, it's not at all surprising to me that today of all days, just when my rational mind felt like giving up on something that I had been believing for, I happened upon this:

"Sometimes it feels better to take the easy way out, but it's never truly satisfying."

In the past when things would get tough, I tended to jump ship, just disappear—physically or emotionally, or both. That hasn't served me well. To my dear friends, just hang in there! Your dreams are only as out-of-reach as you think they are.

****

Shoot for the stars! If you miss and only hit the moon, so what?!

Something to Think About

It's been a while since I've posted and to my friends who enjoy reading this blog and find it encouraging, I deeply apologize. Lately, it has felt as if my life has been turned upside-down just a bit, but I'm still here. And so, thankfully, are my parents and loved ones.

Anyway, over the past month, I've been seriously dealing with the issue of fear and, as God would design it, today I came across the following quote attributed to Nelson Mandela:

"Our greatest fear is not that we are powerless, but that we are far more powerful than we think."

Meditate on that for a moment. I sure will.


******
By the way, the Glad Game experiment of last month was a success. I had a pretty amazing week that week—lots of unexpected, yet pleasant surprises. But then the following week, I slipped into my old habits of complaining about the least little thing and life offered me more to complain about. So I've discovered experientially what I've long suspected might be true: thoughts and words have power. Good thoughts and good words = a good life.

It's Okay to Be You

I realize I've been strangely quiet for the past week or so, although I did promise to report back on my Glad Game experiment, but sometimes transformation requires extended moments of silence.

I don't mind much as it's usually during such moments that I happen upon another piece of my life's puzzle that brings me closer to my dreams or helps me find contentment while they still seem afar off. Today's perfect piece came in the form of a message that I had to share with my lovely readers (whoever you are):

"The more you do things to please others, the more you erode away at your own sense of worth, confidence, and sense of self. When you’re preoccupied with the expectations of others for fear of their disapproval, you’re revealing that it isn’t okay for you to be you." – Dr. Mark Chironna

I suppose such a thing seems at odds with a blog about transformation, about change. Yet in actually, it affirms what I've already come to realize—my transformation can have nothing to do with my wanting to please anyone except myself. My desire is simply to fully become all that I was created to be and to live the amazing life that I was meant to live.

An apple seed can only ever become an apple tree. And, at my core, I can only ever be me. It's okay. I've heard from the highest authority that I'm pretty fabulous—fearfully and wonderfully made, a pearl of great price, in fact. I hear that you are, too!

A Heroic Act Motivated By Love

Along the route from work to my parents house, I pass by a church that has one of those flashy electronic signs. Have you seen them? The colorful ones with ever changing messages and animated pictures. Anyway, one day as I was stopped at the light near this church, I noticed a rather intriguing message: "You may not be able to change the world, but you can make a world of difference." Well, today I happened upon a story about a woman in China who is a stunning example of how very true that message is. Eighty-eight-year-old Lou Xiaoying, who earned a meager living recycling trash, managed to rescue and care for 30 infants she found abandoned in the trash, despite being barely able to fend for herself: http://bit.ly/OMT5Tb.

Because of one woman, 30 children will have the chance to live and love and dream and make a difference in someone else's life. In her own words: "I realized if we had strength enough to collect garbage, how could we not recycle something as important as human lives." 

I have no more excuses.

The Glad Game

Calling all Pollyannas. Are you willing to play a game with me this week? Since it's Olympic season, now's the perfect time for it. Anyone who is willing is eligible to play, and everyone who plays, wins.

As I was meditating yesterday, it occurred to me that the best way to have more joy in my life and, hence, open the door for more good things to happen is to complain less, be glad more. Then I got the bright idea that I should test out my theory—social scientist that I am—by trying for an entire week to not complain or say anything negative, beginning today. In fact, I could take it a step further by finding something positive to say even about a problem I'm having. Admittedly this will be a challenge, but as with most things, I believe it will work best if I approach it one day at a time. So, are you game?

Are you willing to give up complaining for just one day? No griping. No whining. No ranting. No bemoaning how hard times are, or how dishonest this or that politician is. No negative talk about coworkers or bosses. No moping about long check-out lines or heavy traffic or the price of gas. For one day, just be glad being alive and take in all the beauty, love and inspiration that's around you and that you might have overlooked before while you were busy complaining.

Again, for the sake of full disclosure, I admit this isn't going to be easy. We live in an imperfect world and bad things, tragic things, happen almost daily it seems. And with instant messaging, Twitter and smart phones, tragic news is spread worldwide within minutes. Yet surprisingly, even in the midst of tragedy there are gifts, bright spots, to be found. I don't always see them as I'm sure others don't for we see "through a glass darkly," but I have to believe the gifts are there. Faith sees the good even in the most dire of situations. Jesus explained this principle best when He told His disciples (and us):

"In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world." - John 16:33

So, if you wake up with a headache, just be glad you woke up. If traffic is heavy on the way to work, just be glad you have a job and a car that you can drive to work. Line at the Starbucks too long? Get excited that you have money to by $4.00 coffee. Just give it a try for an hour, two hours, a day, or maybe even the whole week.

I'm looking forward to a beautiful week. I'll let you know how it turns out.

"In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you." - 1 Thessalonians 5:18

Childlike Faith

"If you believe within your heart you'll know
That no one can change the path that you must go
Believe what you feel and know you're right, because
The time will come around when you say it's yours"

If You Believe by Charlie Small, performed in The Wiz
©1974 Warner-Tamerlane Publishing Corp.

Sometimes I think Christians, myself included, are just too spiritual for their own good, which is why we fail to see the wondrous works in this day that the disciples—Peter, James and John et al.—were able to see and accomplish: water being changed into wine; five loaves and two fish feeding a multitude of 5,000 men plus women and children; healing of the blind, lame and deaf; and let's not forget Lazarus. Admittedly, the disciples were also blown away by these things, even when they were themselves able to do them.

Disciples: Master, even the demons danced to your tune!
Jesus: I know. [The Message, Luke 10:17-18]

By the book of Acts, however, they'd gotten over it. They were as unfazed as Jesus was—the miraculous was normal to them, like breathing.

I don't know why, but Christians today simply cannot grasp that when Jesus spoke of mustard seed faith moving mountains, he was speaking of actual mountains being moved—as well as emotional or psychological mountains/stumbling blocks—in the same that way a fig tree withered and died at His spoken word. And in the same way the huge stone fortress surrounding Jericho crumbled to dust at the exuberant praises of the Israelites and before that a sea became dry land before Moses' rod. (It's my favorite scene in the Ten Commandments, although I imagine I'm going to be just a bit disappointed to discover that Moses looks nothing like Charlton Heston.)

As God continues to deal with my thoughts and opening my eyes to limitless possibilities, I'm discovering that there are a vast many things about this universe and God Himself that simply defy reason and understanding. To experience the wonders that Peter, James and John did, requires a childlike faith to see what can't be seen, hear what can't be heard, and believe what absolutely seems impossible.

"Jesus said unto him, If thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that believeth." - Mark 9:23

Meditation #4—He Puts My Tears in a Bottle

"Be merciful unto me, O God: for man would swallow me up;

he fighting daily oppresseth me. Mine enemies would daily swallow me up:

for they be many that fight against me, O thou most High.

...Thou tellest my wanderings: put thou my tears into thy bottle:

are they not in thy book?

When I cry unto thee, then shall mine enemies turn back:

this I know; for God is for me.

In God will I praise his word: in the Lord will I praise his word." - Psalm 56:1-2; 8-10

I love my God. No tear of mine goes unnoticed; he captures each in a bottle. No cry goes unheard; he hastens to deliver me. He gives attention to everything about me and my life as I am always on His mind. When the enemy comes against me, it is the Lord Most High who fights my battles so that I can walk in the abundance of peace and joy that He promises to all His beloved. He rejoices over me with singing and I am soon comforted.

Thank you Jesus for your grace. Thank you for your love.

How to Live Happily Ever After

"Have faith in your dreams and someday,

Your rainbow will come smiling through,

No matter how your heart is grieving,

If you keep on believing,

The dream that you wish will come true."

A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes from Disney's Cinderella, ©1950

I wasn't kidding about Disney. God talks to me in the most unexpected ways and through the most unexpected people sometimes. I'm recalling meeting my new dentist for the first time last October. I had what felt like the world's worst toothache and desperately needed to see a dentist, stat! Since my previous dentist was quite a distance from where I now work, so not convenient to get to and also no longer accepted by my insurance, I sought out my much trusted office manager for a referral. This woman is a real gem, a bit of curmudgeon, but a real gem. She assured me she has the perfect dentist who I'll simply love, and she was right. I was able to get an appointment right away and from the moment I stepped into his office, I knew I'd found my new dentist.

A mature man of about mid-60ish, I'd say, he was very congenial and reassuring that he'd be able to help alleviate my pain or refer me to a surgeon who could. If he had only delivered on that promise, I'd have been eternally grateful. But there was something more he offered that day—an unexpected insight into my life. "You have a very beautiful smile," I recall him saying, exactly what you want to hear from a dentist. He examined my teeth and jaw for a bit, said something about me having good  bone structure, and then, after slight pause, followed with "You have the look of a woman who has spent a lifetime trying to take care of other people." Wow! Perhaps, I should have been offended. He after all didn't know me or anything about me or my life. Yet, I wasn't offended. The beautiful smile was deceiving. I knew my heart was very heavy that day and not just because of the throbbing pain in my lower left jaw.

I was a woman at the breaking point. My parents were having significant health problems, my parents' friends were demanding answers I couldn't give, my siblings were at odds, and my neighbors were constantly bringing to my attention problems in the community that needed fixing (I serve on my Condo Association's board). Plus, my body hadn't adjusted to my missing thyroid. I felt like a car sputtering to a stop when the last bit of gas is spent, but I really wanted, needed, to "make" everything better for everyone. The dentist's words that day stirred up something in my spirit. I couldn't let them go. Days, weeks, months went by and I could still hear his words "You have the look of a woman who has spent her lifetime trying to take care of others." I pondered them again and again trying to grasp their full meaning. And finally it hit me… I need to take care of me. I need to nurture me. I need to follow my heart's desires. I need to give myself permission to live the life I dream.

At some point in my life, I had taken hold of the belief that my happiness, peace, and joy is dependent on my "making" sure other people are happy. But it isn't true. Your happiness, peace and joy results from nurturing your own soul, and is then radiated to others. The people around you will either catch your happiness vibe or want to stay out of your orbit. Either way, you're in a good place.

And so my journey began in late February to take care of me and rediscover my dreams. Some days, I find I've made great progress; others, not so much. Even now, I still struggle with the tendency to seek the permission of others to enjoy my life. And "sorry" isn't the hardest word for me; "no" is. But, I'm pushing ahead. One moment at a time.

"All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them."  - Walt Disney

Instrument of Peace

If you want to change the world, you must begin with yourself. That's what I've been learning this month. It is very easy to complain about a matter, but quite another to do something about it. Sometimes, just a simple adjustment in attitude or perspective is all that's required to turn a bad situation around and open the door to all the beauty and joy life offers.

Almost every morning when I was in high school, my classmates and I recited the following Prayer of Saint Francis as a reminder that within each of us is the power to change our world. Any person whose heart is yielded in love to God can be used by Him to make a difference.

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love.
Where there is injury, pardon.
Where there is doubt, faith.
Where there is despair, hope.
Where there is darkness, light.
Where there is sadness, joy.
O Divine Master,
grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled, as to console;
to be understood, as to understand
to be loved, as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive.
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
and it is in dying that we are born to Eternal Life.
Amen.

Buy a cup of coffee for that surly co-worker. Offer to pick up groceries for your elderly neighbor. Exercise patience with that hard-to-please customer. Share your lunch with the homeless guy outside your office. Let the other driver have that prime parking space that you saw first. Check up on a friend whose been MIA. Choose to walk in love. Choose to walk in forgiveness. Choose to live in hope. Choose to believe in the impossible. And watch the world around you transform.

Mustard Seed Faith

"... for verily I say unto you, If ye have faith as a grain
of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain,
Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove;
and nothing shall be impossible unto you." – Matthew 17:20

The thing I'm most grateful for today...visiting my parents. For convenience, we have their groceries delivered to their home; however, since neither of my parents is particularly keen about letting strangers into their home, my sister usually arranges to be there when the groceries arrive. Today, I was blessed to be able to do it.

When I arrived, my mother was curled up in a fetal position in bed and groaning about her ear. For just a moment, I started to become anxious. But then I remembered that God loves her and faith as a mustard seed in His love for her—and for me—is all that's needed for His grace to flow and bring healing. So, I took hold of my mother's hands and prayed with her. Nothing fancy—just a basic confession of our faith in God's Word, His power to heal and His abundant love for us. I even encouraged my mother to speak out of her faith instead of her fear. (You have to speak out because faith comes by hearing.) Slowly at first, then quite fervently she began to speak. After a few minutes, she sat up and started asking me her usual series of questions. And just a couple of hours later as I was preparing to leave, my mother was not only up, she had come downstairs to get herself something to eat. Of course, she went for the Hersheys first (because she knows, as do most women, that chocolate has medicinal benefits!).

It's amazing what God can do when we exercise just a little faith.

Be Drunk

Now that I have your attention... part of today's post is borrowed from French poet Charles Baudelaire. I uncovered this gem at the beginning of the year while I was cleaning out my old office in preparation for the move to my new one.

It was just the wake up call I needed at the time. Physically and emotionally exhausted from dealing with my parents health issues and my own, I had fallen into a rut. Where I used to wake up excitedly anticipating the day ahead, I found myself simply trying to endure each day. I had lost my joy and my peace, and was starting to lose my faith. This poem served as the catalyst for my journey to rediscover the divine fire within me and reawaken my passion for life.

Be Drunk

You have to be always drunk. That's all there is to it—it's the 
only way. So as not to feel the horrible burden of time that breaks 
your back and bends you to the earth, you have to be continually 
drunk.

But on what? Wine, poetry or virtue, as you wish. But be 
drunk.

And if sometimes, on the steps of a palace or the green grass of 
a ditch, in the mournful solitude of your room, you wake again, 
drunkenness already diminishing or gone, ask the wind, the wave, 
the star, the bird, the clock, everything that is flying, everything 
that is groaning, everything that is rolling, everything that is 
singing, everything that is speaking...ask what time it is and 
wind, wave, star, bird, clock will answer you: "It is time to be 
drunk! So as not to be the martyred slaves of time, be drunk, be 
continually drunk! On wine, on poetry or on virtue as you wish."

Ten Things for Which I'm Grateful

Several years ago a church in the Midwest launched a campaign to end complaining. I signed up for the challenge, but after about a year, I just kind of fell by the wayside. I hadn't really thought much about it until recently. This week, as I was reading about the Israelites trials in the desert as they headed from Egypt to their promised land, I realized the dangers of complaining. In the face of all the wonderful miracles God performed on their behalf—parting seas, destroying their enemies, sending food from heaven, bringing forth water from rock—the Israelites complained incessantly. They were so focused on the things that they didn't like or that didn't seem to be going their way that they couldn't appreciate or enjoy all of the amazing gifts God had given them, especially his favor. He wanted to bless them even more but could not because of their complaining.

While dealing with an issue at work this morning, I was tempted to behave like the Israelites. In fact, I was on the brink of a "Jesus, really?... Can I get a little help down here?" mini-tirade, when I decided instead to take a walk to the garden behind our office building. As I sat in the garden, staring at the colorful array of flowers and feeling the warmth of the sun on my skin, my entire perspective changed. I suddenly felt very peaceful and blessed, and grateful. Taking advantage of the moment, I made a short list of things I'm grateful for...

1. This day because it's another opportunity to be blessed.
2. My job because it's an opportunity to bless others.
3. Love because it's the source of all that is beautiful in the world.
4. Health because it's a gift that keeps me alive.
5. Butterflies because they are evidence that sometimes the most beautiful things emerge from the ugliest of circumstances.
6. My family because through them I'm learning forgiveness and unconditional love.
7. My friends because they always think the best of me even when I'm being a brat.
8. Laughter because it heals better than most medicines.
9. Music because it lifts my spirit and soul.
10. Dreams because they help direct my future.

Interestingly, the rest of my work day went very well.

Free to Be You and Me

"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness." - Declaration of Independence, July 4, 1776 (Read full text)

Happy Independence Day, America!

The freedom to decide your destiny is a precious and a divine right. It should be cherished, respected, celebrated and protected, today and everyday. This Independence Day, I am choosing like our country's forefathers to have hope for a life of limitless possibilities, goodness and abundant blessings.

As you celebrate America's independence, what does freedom mean to you?

Here are a few thoughts on freedom to inspire...

Freedom is never voluntarily given by the oppressor; it must be demanded by the oppressed. –Martin Luther King, Jr.

To be conformed is imprisonment and slavery. To be transformed is to be emancipated, liberated! –Mark Chironna

 There is no such thing as slow freedom. Til we are fully free we are all slaves. –Gandhi

...where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty. –2 Corinthians 3:17

But what is liberty without wisdom, and without virtue? It is the greatest of all possible evils; for it is folly, vice, and madness, without tuition or restraint. –Edmund Burke 

Don't Quit

Several months ago, I felt inspired to share the following poem with my brother to encourage him during what I sensed was a troublesome period for him. He hadn't shared with me that anything in particular was going on, but my siblings and I are pretty close and sometimes I can sense when they are discouraged or troubled.

So many, including myself, allow pride or shame or just the feeling that no one will understand to prevent us from opening up even to those closest to us. Instead, we put on a fake smile and attempt to tough out the storm alone.

But we are not alone. We are connected to each other and even more so to God, who I believe is the one who inspired me to reach out to my brother without him asking. My brother was deeply touched and encouraged by this poem—it was a timely word for him. I hope it will be the same for you.

Don't Quit

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will, 


When the road you're trudging seems all uphill, 


When the funds are low and the debts are high, 


And you want to smile, but you have to sigh, 


When care is pressing you down a bit, 


Rest, if you must, but don't you quit.

Life is queer with its twists and turns, 


As every one of us sometimes learns, 


And many a failure turns about, 


When he might have won had he stuck it out; 


Don't give up though the pace seems slow— 


You may succeed with another blow.

Often the goal is nearer than, 


It seems to a faint and faltering man, 


Often the struggler has given up, 


When he might have captured the victor's cup, 


And he learned too late when the night slipped down, 


How close he was to the golden crown.

Success is failure turned inside out— 


The silver tint of the clouds of doubt, 


And you never can tell how close you are,

It may be near when it seems so far, 


So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit— 
 


It's when things seem worst that you must not quit.

- Author unknown

A Psalm of Hope and Encouragement

© Olgasharan | Stock Free Images
& Dreamstime Stock Photos

We live in difficult times, but we don't have to let the difficult times live in us. The following Psalm of hope was dedicated to the sons of Korah, who because of their rebellion in the wilderness had been prohibited for 100 years from praising God, and in turn had endured many hard days. It's verses still offer hope and encouragement in these times.

Psalm 42 (NIV)

¹ As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, my God.
² My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When can I go and meet with God?
³ My tears have been my food day and night, while people say to me all day long, “Where is your God?”
⁴ These things I remember as I pour out my soul: how I used to go to the house of God under the protection of the Mighty One with shouts of joy and praise among the festive throng.
⁵ Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.
⁶ My soul is downcast within me; therefore I will remember you from the land of the Jordan, the heights of Hermon—from Mount Mizar.
⁷ Deep calls to deep in the roar of your waterfalls; all your waves and breakers have swept over me.
⁸ By day the Lord directs his love, at night his song is with me—a prayer to the God of my life.
⁹ I say to God my Rock, “Why have you forgotten me? Why must I go about mourning, oppressed by the enemy?”
¹⁰ My bones suffer mortal agony as my foes taunt me, saying to me all day long, “Where is your God?”
¹¹ Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.

Live the Amazing Life

"Life's a b**tch, and then you die," so say the cynics and pessimists.

But no matter what you are going through right now, no matter how difficult, challenging, painful or even deeply tragic your current circumstances, there is one truth you simply must hold onto: You are meant to have an amazing life!

You are meant to have a life of abundant love, joy, peace, friends, health, and assorted other blessings—material and spiritual. So if you find yourself in a hard place right now, simply repeat the following to yourself over and over and over again with all the conviction and enthusiasm you can muster (shout if necessary):

I am meant to have an amazing life!

I know it isn't easy (oh boy, how I know!). Throughout the day we're often inundated with bad news from all corners of the globe: earthquakes, tsunamis, flooding, wars, health scares, collapsing  economies and rising unemployment. And in your own life, it can sometimes seem that everything— career, health, family, relationships, finances, even your mind—is falling apart. Or maybe it's just one thing that makes you want to pull the covers over your head when the alarm sounds in the morning.

Again, no matter what's going on around you, repeat this one truth until it permeates your spirit:

I am meant to have an amazing life!

Now go be amazing!

Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference. –Winston Churchill
If you don't think every day is a good day, just try missing one. –Cavett Robert

God of Our Fathers

Happy Father's Day!

You could say that I'm a bit of a daddy's girl. Named after my father, I suppose you could say that to some degree he dotes on me. But truthfully, my father dotes on all three of his daughters. We're very dear to his heart as are (were) my three brothers. We are the reason my father rose up very early every morning (around 4 or 5 a.m.) for about 30 years to go to jobs he didn't really enjoy so that we could have food, proper clothing and a nice home. We are also the reason he spent much time on his knees in prayer before God—even until the early hours of the morning just in time to go to work.

My father had a difficult life growing up, and he wanted better for his children. He was born in a small, rural town in Alabama just a few years before the Great Depression to a family of tenant farmers. One of 15 or so children born to my grandmother (one of 26 and still counting sired by grandfather—turns out grandpa was a rolling stone), my father started working at age eleven to help out his family. When my father talks about having to walk 15 plus miles to school barefoot or having to put up with racial slurs to his face to preserve his life, he isn't exaggerating. He endured racism and segregation, poverty, World War II, and an absentee father. He could easily have given up and followed in my grandfather's footsteps, but he found a better example to lead him into manhood and then fatherhood.

Ordained as a minister in 1950 (just before my oldest brother was born), my father's deepest desire has always been (and still is) to live a life that honors God, which includes being a good father. I recall my father once saying in a sermon that any man can provide seed to make a baby, but a true father, a real father, follows the example set by God, the perfect Father. He loves and encourages his children. He leads and teaches them. He protects and provides for them. He chastens them when necessary and he also comforts them. But most importantly, he prays for them to help establish their destiny.

To be a Godly father—that is the call my father aspired to. Has he always hit the mark? No. He will tell you himself that he's made countless mistakes in his life as a husband, as a father, as a minister, as a person. He will also tell you that every success he's ever achieved as a father and as a man, he owes to his perfect Father, God. My father has tried (and still does) to be the best father he can be and to demonstrate God's love for us. And whenever he missed it, he went to God for forgiveness and answers.

I'm very thankful for my father. Besides giving me my name, he taught me the value of education, hard work, and perseverance.  Above all else, he taught me how important it is to trust Father God. He never abandons or neglects His children, and He can love me in a way that my natural father cannot. Psalm 149 says that God delights in me (I take His word very personally).

My prayers for fathers on this day and every day is that they will be all God created them to be— leaders, providers, protectors and priests of their households—for their sakes and the sakes of their children. The world needs good fathers.

"The righteous who walks in his integrity–blessed are his children after him!" - Proverbs 20:7 ESV

The Message

I've said this once before, but it bears repeating: The Message version of the Bible is fast becoming my favorite version.

Intended for 20-somethings, I think, The Message uses contemporary English to engage people in reading the Bible and to help them more easily understand what they read. And since it was translated directly from the original Greek and Hebrew manuscripts, it maintains the integrity of the Scriptures.

I like it's rhythm and flow and that it's easy-to-understand. The Message is absolutely transforming my Bible study, giving me new insight into passages of Scriptures I've read dozens of times before, like the following:

"God can do anything, you know—far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He does it not by pushing us around but by working within us, his Spirit deeply and gently within us." – Ephesians 3:20

I got excited reading this passage, which I suspect was Paul's intent when he wrote it—to inspire excitement about God and His Word.

While I'm sure there are some who will think The Message not very reverential, for me, being excited about God's Word is never a bad thing.

Stumbling in the Dark

"Wherein ye greatly rejoice, though now for a season,

if need be, ye are in heaviness through manifold temptations:

That the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold

that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise

and honour and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ..."

–1 Peter 1:6-8

When I began this blog several months ago, I made a conscious decision to be as transparent as I could be about my spiritual journey—sharing my current experiences and even past ones—in the hope that I might encourage others. Even in the face of the most difficult challenges, I've always believed that it helps to at least try to maintain a positive, hopeful outlook—to believe that somehow God is going to come through and it will all work out. However, lest you be deceived into believing that I find living by faith easy, a continual joy fest, I am compelled to share that it isn't. 

There have been moments, many of them, where everything in my life seemed to go wrong all at once, and despite my best efforts, every decision I made seemed to make the problems worse not better. I have felt at times like I was stumbling through life in the dark—not knowing whether to go left or right or to just stand still—and the still, small voice of God that I desperately longed to and needed to hear, if for no other reason than reassurance, was strangely silent. I wish I could say that during such moments I manage to remain at peace and full of faith, and that I don't get anxious or depressed and cry like a baby. That I'm not overcome with fear. That I don't struggle to resist the seemingly endless stream of negative thoughts: "give up," "God has forgotten you," "you're on your own," "nobody cares," "you can't do this," etc. That I don't doubt or question God's love and His goodness toward me. I wish I could say these things, but I can't.

As someone who likes to be able to see where she's going and have all the answers up front, learning to trust a God who doesn't always show His hand is tough. Some days it seems downright impossible, and there have been times where I've totally blown it.

Thank God for friends who come along to remind me of what I already know in the inner most part of my being: that God is good, that He is faithful and He is totally trustworthy. Regardless of how I may feel about Him from one moment to the next, I know His love for me remains constant. There is nothing that I can do, nothing that I can say, that will make Him stop loving me. He's given me His Word on it and that Word is forever settled in heaven and earth. I also have God's Word that because He loves me, He will always provide the help that I need. 

Difficult as they are, the moments where I'm stumbling in the dark allow me the opportunity to learn to fully trust God. Sometimes, He brings us to the end of our own wisdom, knowledge and plans to save ourselves, so that we'll cry out to Him and no one else but Him. I wish it were easier; I wish that I could always see clearly the path in front of me. But who needs faith for what they can already see? It's in the darkness that we grow in faith and God gets to show Himself to be God.

A Meditation #3

"As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, my God." - Psalm 42:1 (NIV)

You see me. In all my fear and anxiety. In all my failure and weakness. Wherever I go. Whatever I do. You are there. To lead me. To comfort me. To strengthen and restore me. From the depths of my soul I cry out to you Jesus. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Forever faithful. Forever true. Loving Savior, comforter, friend, deliverer, healer. My heart is yours.

My Beautiful Savior

"I just wanna wait on You my God.

I just wanna dwell on who You are.

Beautiful, beautiful. Oh I am lost for more to say.

Beautiful, beautiful. Oh Lord, You're beautiful to me."

Beautiful by Kari Jobe 

© Integrity Music 2009

I'm in a season of rediscovering Jesus. Daily, he's been revealing to me His true nature: a loving, compassionate Savior full of grace and truth who gives rather than demands, saves rather than condemns, teaches rather than judges, restores rather than tears down, comforts rather than admonishes. He is steel and velvet. Meekness and majesty. Servant and Lord. 

My heart's desire is that the more I grow in intimacy with this Jesus, the more His grace, His love and His beauty will radiate through me to others. Then I will truly be His witness.

“Preach the Gospel to everyone and use words if necessary.” - Saint Francis of Assisi

On This Memorial Day

"Memories, memories,

Sweet, sweet memories.

That make me sad.

They take me back

To you."

Memories by The Temptations

Motown © 1975

The first time I remember hearing this song was just a few months after my little brother Stephen died. He was only four. It would be about 15 years or so before I could listen to this song without crying. (Although, I still cry occasionally when hearing it.) That was a dark, painful time in my family's life and the first time I had experienced the death of a loved one. I still remember as if it were yesterday: My father saying that Stephen would not be coming home from the hospital "this time"; all the people stopping by our house to drop off food; me and my younger sister being swept away to our Godsister's home; hearing my mother scream, and then watching her collapse to the sidewalk as we approached the front door of the funeral home where my brother's wake was held. I also recall seeing my father cry for the first time. A tall, imposing, and somewhat fearsome looking man—at least to me at age nine—he approached the church podium during the funeral to speak, but broke down in heaving sobs instead.

I was an adult before I could think about my brother without tears. But it was a relief to finally be able to smile, and even laugh, when remembering our brief time together: Our first trip to Disney World; helping him ride his Big Wheel; the way he laughed every time the Pappy Parker Fried Chicken commercial came on TV; getting in trouble for using our beds as trampolines; getting in serious trouble when he decided to pour talcum powder all over my parents' bedroom.

It's been many years ago since my brother died. I still miss him and think about him often as I do the many others I've mourned since. Overcoming grief due to the death of a loved one is not an easy process no matter how many times you've experienced it. It's not even something that God intended for man to endure. (Death was not part of His original plan. He's calls it an enemy, which is why Jesus wept at Lazarus' tomb.) Still, with God's grace and the support of friends and other family members, we get through it. And in time, we even come to cherish our memories of times spent together knowing that in some way our loved ones are still with us.

"...weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning." - Psalm 30:5

Who Am I?

I love musicals. How could I not? They combine my two primary passions: singing and dancing. (According to my mother, I learned to sing before I could talk. Not entirely a good thing as it cost me six years in speech therapy. But thank Jesus my speech is fine now.) One of my favorite musicals is "A Chorus Line." I was a teenager when my older sister introduced me to it. I used to know every word to every song and would spend hours "rehearsing" the songs and dance routines in my basement (being careful to skip some of the "dirty" words if my parents were home. I said a curse word once when I was five and my mother literally washed my mouth out with soap!). One number from the musical that particularly resonated with me then—and has been on my mind lately—is "I Hope I Get It." I would sing the end of the song over and over again, almost like a prayer:

Who am I anyway?
Am I my resume?
That is a picture of a person I don't know.

It makes perfect sense—I was a teenager wanting to know who she was. For most of us, it's during our teen years when we start trying to figure out who we are and who we are to become. Our bodies are changing, our minds are maturing, and we're asked to seriously consider the question "What do you want to be when you grow up?".  By the time I reached my twenties, I was sure I had the answer to the question of "Who am I?" all figured out. By the time I reached my mid-thirties, I realized how very clueless I was. It was then that I came to know Christ who began revealing to me who I am by revealing to me who He is. I wish I could say that I was a quick study in this regard, but it's taken several years of Jesus patiently helping me to unravel the mystery through His Word, through His prophets and ministers, through circumstances and experiences, through friends and family, even through enemies.

I am spirit. I was created in the image and likeness of God who is Spirit to live in fellowship with Him. I am not my job. I am not my possessions. I am not my education. I am not my mistakes or my successes. I am not my race or gender. I am not the image I see in the mirror.

It may not appear to me or to others that I am more than flesh and blood, but who can argue with God. (I do try sometimes, but He always wins!) Lately, He's been showing me that if I limit myself to being solely flesh and blood, then I limit what He is able to do in and through me. When I can hold fast to the truth that I am spirit seated with Him in heavenly places and that His Spirit now also dwells in me, then He is "able to do exceeding abundantly above all that I could ask or think." (Ephesians 3:20)

My God is Awesome!

I promised when I found the second song that inspired me on Easter Sunday I would share. So here it is: Awesome.

Almighty. Holy. Provider. Deliverer. Protector. My God is truly awesome!

To Be Fully Known

I am a woman with a story. It has some good bits, some sad bits, some tragic bits, and some miraculous bits. To know my story is to know me. Each of us has a story—a history, a tapestry of experiences that helped to shape who we are at this moment. One piece of sage advice passed on to me from my mother (she attained it from my great grandfather) is that "if you really want to know a person, you must find out their story."

Most of us want to share our stories and in essence ourselves, especially with the people we care about. To be fully known, understood and accepted is the deepest desire of every man's and woman's heart. But here's the rub: none of us is capable of completely fulfilling this need for another nor were we created to. That emptiness you feel in your heart from time to time when it seems that your friends, parents, spouse, siblings, whoever, just don't get you—that they simply cannot see all that's in your soul—it's intended to be divinely filled by the One who created you from the foundations of the earth. In Him you can be fully known.

You have searched me, Lord, and you know me.
You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar. 
You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways. 
Before a word is on my tongue you, Lord, know it completely.
- Psalm 139:1-4 (NIV)